Pain Away, Pain Return

Two days ago I threw my back out somehow.  Yesterday the doctor gave me Vicodin 5-500.  That means I get 5mg of hydrocodone and 500 mg of acetaminophen, aka Tylenol.  No,this isn't a drug instruction entry, it's setting the tone for what is to come.

The first dose put me to sleep.  The second dose I took at bedtime.  I woke up this morning and felt fine, no real pain, so I did not take a pill as allowed every six hours.  Instead, I went about my day writing and reading, and praying.  In fact, I wrote several letters that needed writing, did research, and heard from people I've missed very much.

Then.

About 1pm the top of my skull began to have that familiar ache, and by 1:10 I was again wearing the crown of thorns.  For your information, I describe a certain headache caused by my neck, and is a band around my head just about at the line a hat would sit.  Since it is there, and I am given to religious imagery, I call it my Crown of Thorns headache.  By 1:30 the rats that live in my neck, gnawing endlessly, were back in full force and they are very, very painful.  At 1:36  exactly, I know because I was watching the clock, the thoracic spine began the painful awakening.  This is the area that almost daily give me the sensation that someone is standing on my privates.  It is terrible, and I try not to cry every time.  By 2:00 is was in my hips and legs and I was right back where I started, only, without the pain for which the medicine had been given.

Well fat lot of good that does me, because I realize then that I live with this pain every damn day of my life, and there is nothing, nothing I can do put either put up with it, or take an opioid.  You will not doubt notice that I linked to safety, because at 7:00pm, I took a Vicodin, and am now pain free.

This creates an incredible tension in my soul.  Do I risk this medication for pain free living?  It hurts to go to church, to sit, to stand, to lay down, and Mass almost kills me by the time it is over.  The question arises: can I safely take this medication and not become just another disabled person addicted to their pain pills.  The good news is that I meet with the pain doctor on August 2nd, and I know that one of the medications in their arsenal is Vicodin.  

I have to confess, I like not being in pain.  I am praying for God's will, and I ask you, all of you, to pray to God for me, too, so that his will may be revealed for me.