Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Silence

Greetings from the world of Steve. Let me pass over the last month and a half by saying it was very difficult, and things are on the upswing. If you want more, write to me privately.

Today I want to talk about silence in prayer. Everyday I receive a link to a thought of the day from St. Therese of Lisieux. Today the quote was "Frequently only silence can express my prayer." That phrase is apt because of an experience of prayer yesterday.

As is my habit, when my body will cooperate, I attend the Rosary with a few of the Sisters of Charity of Nazareth near my home. All day yesterday I was distressed, like a deep unease, unhappiness, just something making me miserable with myself, and I couldn't put my finger on what it was. Finally, at 3:30 in the afternoon I left to go over to the church and pray until the Rosary began at 4:15. At one point I was trying to pray with words and caught myself flailing around for words, therefore uttering a bunch of nonsense that had nothing at all to do with the need in my heart.

So, I just shut up. It hit me that words are often the last thing that help prayer. There are times when one has words, and specific needs which require those words, but yesterday I did not, I didn't even know what was wrong -- so I just shut up.

When I quieted my mind and just let myself be open to God, all the distress began to melt away. This is one of the great blessings that being a Lay Cistercian has conferred upon me, how to be silent in prayer. So, when I opened this mornings thought by St. Therese and found her saying Frequently only silence can express my prayer I knew there was more than serendipity at work.

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