When the day of Pentecost had fully come.

The Easter season ended with vespers. Now we're back into dreary old ordinary time. That's okay, some of the best daily Mass readings show up during ordinary time. Thank God that I am able to attend daily Mass, when so many are not.

Today it was Gethsemani to sing chants with the monks. I love going to the Solemnities out there: the chants, the incense, the whole shebang. Also, I love when the procession passes me and half the priests are happy to see me. The other half, of course, just don't know me. Cough, cough.

The Georgenz who is a follower of this blog asked me what I had been prior to becoming RC. I was an Episcopalian. Had I not started going to two solid years of 6:15am daily Masses at Gethsemani, I probably would have remained a very unhappy Episcopalian. Unhappy you say? Yes, because it had become sex obsessed. Come to think of it, I believe all the churches are sex obsessed. It makes one wonder just what the problem is that we are constantly sticking our noses into other peoples bedrooms, and on top of that, judging them by what they do in their bedrooms.

Who cares! Today the church celebrates the coming of the Holy Spirit; the birthday of the Church; the coming of the Kingdom of God. All the rest of it, including the murder of the Abortion Doctor today, is just so much human dung piled on top of what is basically very simple.

Jesus Christ, and him crucified and resurrected. Beyond that ... there is nothing.

Computer Woe

My poor computer. On Friday 22 May, my computer went into a start up loop that sent it to PC Doc. On Thursday 28 May, I received my computer once again, and being so happy to have it, began a Marathon game session of Colonization. I lost, but I will play again the moment I finish this entry.

Today is the third anniversary of my conversion to the Roman Catholic Church. It's still hard for me to believe that I did such a thing, but honestly, I feel like I've been a Catholic all my life. I skipped RCIA since the very thought of a year long of going over everything I already knew -- not bragging, I really did already know it -- just wasn't going to cut it for me. Luckily, I found Fr. Chris Allegra who after about four Monday meetings said, when do you want to do this?

What have I learned? I'm not sure I've learned anything that would surprise any regular reader of this blog, except perhaps how fractured the RCC really is, although it loves to say "we are a unity." Unity schmunity. The Protestants have nothing on the fractures of the RCC. Anyway, who cares about that? What I care about is how since I've made the switch, I've learned a lot about what I will, and will not accept. For instance, this discussion going on of making Mary Co-Redemtrix on a par, but subject to(?) Christ. Explain that one if you've got the nerve.

I will never accept that as a dogma of faith. I do not think the Holy Mother herself wants such a title. I think a lot of superstitious people want this title. RCC is not fully free of superstition, there is a type of snake handling mentality very much alive in the church. That disturbs me, and to be honest it shakes my faith in the structure of the RCC, but NOT in my conversion.

To be clear, I believe in Jesus Christ, the Son of God, born of the Virgin Mary (perpetual virginity if you like), as the Second Person of the Trinity, and the Trinity itself is God, then Christ is God. Hence, when Christ emptied himself of God-ness to be born of the Virgin Mary, she was indeed the Mother of God. I believe in Christ crucified, died, resurrected, ascended in heaven. etc. Oh, and I do believe in the Roman Catholic Church. I would be Orthodox, but that is just too ethnic for me. Besides, I like organs in church.

So that's my entry for today. What is your faith?

Ascension Sunday or 7th Sunday of Easter

I thought to be attending the Solemnity at Gethsemani on Thursday. That did not happen, instead I ended up going to Nazareth for Mass because there was the threat of very bad news from my niece whom is 8 months pregnant. All turned out well, but when I left for church I was in serious of need of being able to get home very, very quickly if worst came to worst.

Because of that I said all the office for Ascension that day, and decided to let my daily office be off from the rest of the Diocese. Today I celebrated the feast of the Ascension at Nazareth, otherwise I'd have missed the Feast completely.

For those might not know, I have been diagnosed with serious cervical stenosis, which means the wreck that is my neck, is compressing nerves, and my spinal cord. I see the Neurosurgeon in early June. On Friday my computer got stuck in a start up loop and had to go to the PC Doc here in Bardstown. Sadly, I shan't have it back until Tuesday. That means my distraction of playing Colonization, has been taken away from me, and my hasn't that just caused the deepest sort of split in my personality.

Why? Oh, I'm so glad you asked. Because I had prayed to God, "Please, help me to spend more time with you and not seeking out ways to avoid you. After all, if you've called me to this life I should spend more time with you, and less distracting myself."

Now, my temptation is to leave the entire subject right there, but people tell me, you leave out everything that makes sense of what little you do say. Okay, then, here. I like to play that game, I like it a lot. It allows me to avoid issues of the deep down and stinky variety, which only prolonged sessions of prayer can help. It is not always easy to get prolonged sessions of prayer when I am in near constant pain, increasing daily, and people are more interested in one upping me on their agonies than in helping me deal with this.

The fact that my hands are working less well each day bothers me, and without my game to play I am forced to face it alone, without distraction, and I'm so irritated that the very effort of facing God brings out the very worst in me. This is a point in my life that just sucks. Plain old sucks.

On top of that, I think it's time to cut off a friend whom I'm rather devoted to, but whom has become an debit. Pray for me. Please, because I'm not sure I can even do it for myself.

Happy Ascension!

Eve of the Ascension

Sixth Sunday of Easter

You know by the the 6th Sunday of Easter that Ascension is on Thursday. I know, I know, everyone celebrates it on the following Sunday, but that is a huge cop out, because people have to work on Thursdays and no one wants to go to church early in the morning, or later after work when they absolutely do not have to do it.

Chickens.

All that aside, I love Ascension and plan to celebrate it in some festival, which as of yet is not clear. I might just sit and have a gin martini and listen to a good choir sing the Viri Galilaei. If you don't know what that is, oh well, look it up. No seriously. What you hear sung below is most of it as the link above provide the score. This link though is much more to my liking, and training. I guess now you want a translation huh?

Men of Galilee, why do you stand here looking into the sky?
This same Jesus, who has been taken from you into heaven,
will come back, in the same way you have seen him go into heaven. Alleluja.

I'm sure you can understand that for someone who put much of their life into church music, the singing of the Palestrina is enough to make you cry. At least it is for me.

St. Matthias

To be perfectly honest this is one of the crappiest days I've had in a very long time. All the stress of the past few weeks, mixed with some really bad news coming in four hours time from three different places, have fallen in on me today. No matter how many times I remind myself that I am not defined by how I feel, I know perfectly well that right now, I feel terrible.

Complaining does no good so I'll talk instead about what I'm doing to combat this day of misery of exquisite torture. I go into my prayer room, place myself before God, and sit quietly. Does it help? Not particularly, but then again I don't pray to get instant relief anyway. Then why do it? Because it does remind me that I am not alone in this. While I still feel pretty darn miserable, I know that Christ is with me, and that the prayers of many friends, fellow LCG, monks and nuns, are with me, holding me in the light before God, just as I hold them in that same light.

The apostles must have felt pretty bad too, when they realized that they had to replace a traitor, Judas, with someone, and then God helped them choose Matthias. So I am not giving up, or giving in, just blogging about my day.

Back At Mass

Today, at long last, I was able to attend the weekday Mass at Nazareth. It was so wonderful to be there. After being ill so long, and not being able to attend it was like being freed from prison and returning home again. I spoke with one of the Sisters that sits near me, in our sparsely populated section, and told her how much I'd missed the daily Mass and she said, "I know you did. You can't live without it. How do other people live without it?"

Honestly, I do not know. Having forsworn getting involved in agonizing over the agendas of those in or out of the church, I am free again to just be a part of Mass and make that connection heart to heart with Christ. My friend the tiedyedmystic would no doubt have something to add from the Tao, or a Zen Koan, but for me I'm sticking with the heart of Christ. It's what I know, and the symbolism I am most comfortable with. I am not one who believes there is no salvation outside the church, but I do believe that Christ has covered all our debts, and done it all already on our behalf. The great lesson of life is learning that we must let God be God, and God acts in Christ, and sometimes through us, but usually, without our help at all.

As you can tell from the picture, many others were there also. Pssst. I didn't see them though.

Sri Lanka

For some reason God has laid the people of Sri Lanka on my heart as subjects for nearly constant Intercession. There is a difference between praying for someone, and making intercession, and God has made it plain to me that I am to do full out, face to the floor intercession for these poor people.

The refugee camp is really a ruse and shield. A ruse because "someone" uses it for raids to rape and beat and kill. A shield because "someone" blows mortar rounds into it and they all have to run for cover, that is if they have survived their brutal rape. And let us not forget, both sexes can be, and are, raped.

But this is pampered America and all we care about is Abortion. Oh darn, I almost slipped.

So I beg you, cry out to the Lord for these people. Put your prayers to God until all God can hear is us crying out to save these people. Is that so much to ask?

Amen

Upon Further Reflection

After a weekend of prayer and reflection, Mass at Gethsemani, a short talk with my confessor, and a meeting with my Lay Cistercian group, I feel more at east with the world, my place in it, and the Church. Does that mean I shall now let things such as I ranted about pass without a word? By no means, as St. Paul loved to say. I will merely start a new blog, so this one can remain focused on the love of God.

Romans 8:31-39

God’s Love in Christ Jesus

What then are we to say about these things? If God is for us, who is against us? He who did not withhold his own Son, but gave him up for all of us, will he not with him also give us everything else? Who will bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? It is Christ Jesus, who died, yes, who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who indeed intercedes for us.* Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will hardship, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written,

‘For your sake we are being killed all day long;
we are accounted as sheep to be slaughtered.’

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

So there you have it. I am back to my normal self. My intolerance is for the intolerant and the agenda ridden. I will alert you to the new ranting and raving blog when I create it.

By the way, is anyone following the Office of Readings? Do we ever get out of Revelation? And what does it all mean? Sheesh!

I'm Worn Out

I'm still sitting in the waiting room. Still wondering why the Episcopal Church split. The liberal wing has nearly empty churches, and the conservative wing has nearly empty churches. What have they achieved? Nothing.

I want to point out that yesterday's mass readings were about Philip and the Ethiopian Eunuch. A eunuch was a non person, forbidden from community in Judaism. Yet, the Spirit told Philip to go to that chariot. Why? He ended up baptizing him. Why? He was unclean for God sake people.

The gospel then quotes Jesus as saying, "No one comes to me unless the Father calls him." Well that means the unclean, community cutoff, ball less eunuch, was CALLED to the Father? Again, why?

I fight contempt for both sides. I fight the need to spit at you all, liberal and conservative, so proud of yourselves for destroying the body of Christ. You should all be covered in shame.

What happened to Christ today, yesterday, and forever!
What happened to nothing can separate us from the Love of God in Christ Jesus!
What happened to faith?

Oh, right, biblical fundamentalism, and the pretense that Anglicanism has anything left to say. My concern now is does the Roman church have anything left to say?

"The love of Christ be damned, I want my Agenda NOW."

Isn't that what we are really saying? Be honest with yourself. Stop pretending your defending some orthodoxy that never was anything more than a cover for another agenda.

Is Christ the center of your life?
Is Christ the very breath you breathe?
Is Christ the food of your soul?
Is Christ anything to you, other than a name to put on an agenda?

I am thinking very seriously of closing this blog down. I see so little in Christianity that makes me proud of the faith. Only those who pray for the world, only those who work for the poor, the starving, the dying. Other than that, I don't have much left to say.

Good night. And Good Luck.