Mind of Christ

"Let this mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus." Wow. In one small statement we are given the easiest and most difficult task in of our lives. Keep Christ in your mind and you will do the right thing. Let Christ out of your mind and you are going to mess up so bad you will be forced to bring in the spiritual version of Comet to clean things up.

It reminds me of Paul's statement about two laws at work, one in the body, on in the spirit. The body -- or our fallen nature visualized as the body -- wants control of the mind. The mind of Christ wants control of our mind. The battle is not fought by Christ, because we bring Christ in, or throw him out; our work is to keep the mind of Christ always in our thoughts. Christ doesn't force his way in and say now I'm running things. Oh, how much easier that would be. Julian of Norwich said that the Lord is not an ungracious guest, and never stays where he is not wanted.

So what keep the mind of Christ within us? First, saying the prayers. For me, and for many, that is the Liturgy of the Hours, whether done twice a day, three times a day, or seven. Second, for Catholics would be to find a daily Mass. Nothing will keep you on the right track like a daily Mass. For Protestants it might be attending a bible study where you are with other and praying together.

A third method is to study the bible, and then do Lectio divina with those passages that speak to you in some special way. If we do not have frequent exposure to the word of God, then how can we hope to have the mind of Christ in the forefront of our own minds? I had the advantage of a fundamentalist upbringing, which taught me that knowledge of the Bible was essential for the living of a Christian life. I tend to agree with that. Vatican II certainly did, and the church continuously urges the faithful to study the Bible.

Those are my thoughts, and that's all they are, thoughts. The real presence of Christ in our minds is done simply by remembering Christ. That is our job. If we are vigilant then we shall have the mind of Christ. What more could anyone wish for?

Encountering the Living Christ

I was ill today and unable to attend Mass, which I felt terrible about, as it is my daily habit, not just Sundays. So about the time Mass started I began to think about the gospel of John, and how both on the road to Emmaus, and when Christ was on the beach grilling fish and Peter and John, etc., failed to recognize him until nearly the end.

Why was that? I believe that there is a lesson for today in both incidents...we usually don't recognize when Christ is in our midst. The men going to Emmaus didn't recognize him until the breaking of the bread, and Peter and John didn't realize it until he said cast you net on the other side of the boat. Then John said, "It is the Lord."

Isn't that the way it is with us? We don't realize it is Christ until it is almost too late! What actions can we take to help us realize Christ is our midst sooner? This has been on my mind all day long. If anyone would care to respond and make this a conversation I would really appreciate it.

Peace

Surprise! Second Entry! Pro-Life

Having posted my list of ten things that eat at my heart day and night, I now want to say I desire only peace. I do oppose abortion on almost all grounds. However, Tay-Sachs disease is a horror.

Fr. Michael Cassagram, OCSO told someone in the lobby of the Abbey of Gethsemani recently, we should pray for positive things to occur. I've been thinking about that, and decided that the ten things needed posting first, so my feelings could be clear, and then I can repudiate my anger and say, "I pray for peace."

The entire Christian world, not just the Catholic Church, is ripped apart right now, and the enemy is we ourselves. Hard to blame Islam for the plummeting numbers in churches across Europe and the United States. And what is causing all this? Our lack of peace with each other. Our lack of peace with ourselves.

When people are contentious -- God forbid I should be such a person, Ha! -- usually their anger is from within and is born of a feeling of powerlessness. Too many voices are unheard and it causes untold amounts of pain and suffering. So why do we keep crushing voices that don't agree with us?

Power. Clutching to power.

Now, I think that stem cell research is fine so long as you don't kill a fetus to get that cell. They can get the cells from the umbilical cord. You do not have to kill a fetus to get it. Do I think that killing a fetus is murder? Why, as a matter of fact, yes, I do.

Do I think it is the only thing in the world to pray for, or worry about, or obsess over? Absolutely not. The reason this all came up today was because of my Lectio on those three little verses from the previous post.

I have sworn off causes many times here, so here is another time. You can keep count for me, because I gave up counting long ago. All I have to offer are my prayers. Maybe that should be all you, and the rest of the world should offer.

Pray.

Important Things in Life: Perspective

Here it is Friday in the fourth week of Lent. My how lent flies when no one is having any fun. The people in Fargo/Morehead area are not having any fun. No one along the Red River is having any fun. People are going to lose their homes; whole towns may go under water. Suffering in that area of our nation will be great, and all the Catholic blogs can think about is whether or not the President of the United States should give a speech at Notre Dame. Or, whether or not the Pope was right about condoms.

WHO CARES?

Let us review.

1. Female Circumcision is practiced in many parts of the world.
2. The pope has said that Africa is under a Cloud of Evil. He's right, you know.
3. We execute black men like we were going to run out of them.
4. Starvation and nasty drinking water will kill more people today than you will meet all week long.
5. The south is still recovering from Hurricane Katrina...remember them?
6. Mississippi just got a whammy from some Tornados.
7. We have a drug war brewing on our southern border.
8. We are a nation that supported an administration that developed torture as policy...but oh! they opposed abortion. So much for the value of human life.
9. The world is dying from need of Christ, and we act like we don't care.
10. The Church is acting like it is still 1657.

What am I supposed to say to this? Well, I shall quote something from the first Mass reading today.

they knew not the hidden counsels of God;
neither did they count on a recompense of holiness
nor discern the innocent souls' reward.

I can hear you out there saying "Okay, he's lost it finally. This has nothing to do with what's he's ranting about." Oh, but you are wrong. In spite of all the ten points of my pain, I have seen that those three little lines from the book of Wisdom contain all the hope that will get me through the rest of this day. See what a little Lectio can do for an outlook?

The rest of the reading up to that point is about how the unjust will treat the just man. Before Mass as I pondered it, those three lines jumped out as I realized we do not know the hidden counsels of God, or the recompense of holiness. Also, we really don't even know who an innocent might be.

In Africa, an orphan might be considered a witch, in which case it's okay to kill him. An old woman without anyone to support her might be called a witch, and killed. Of course, that is if they survive the wasteland that colonialism left of Africa long enough, after drinking the nasty water, or just flat out starving to death.

Americans. Oh, we're holy all right. We're so holy we say, "what a shame about all those little brown people. Now stop abortion! Uphold life!" Does that include the little brown people of Africa? Or are they not quite real to us yet? Are they people? Or are they still little brown folks?

You'll accuse me of oversimplification. I accuse you of a cold heart.

Theological Rambling

Lord, why do you want me? I am nothing special. I have neither great spiritual insights, nor healing abilities. It would seem that I should be the least likely of all the people on earth you would call to you in this life. Yet all of my life you have called. I ignored you in the 1980s, yet even then you protected and preserved me. I abandoned myself to depravity and you still called me. There was no escape.

Now, I have turned to you, and still cannot understand what it is about me that you should love so much. I have a quick temper, a hurtful tongue; my heart is easily discouraged by dolts that think the only great sadness in the world is abortion, while millions die in Africa, Russia, you name it, they are dying because we don't care. I let this run between me and your church. You would be far better off choosing someone with skills, a better track record, than a failure like myself, whom has nothing to offer except my inabilities.

Yet, I do love you Lord Christ. Jesus, all my life you have been the only thing I really wanted, and since there was no understanding in me of how to have you, I sought relief elsewhere. Sex. Drugs. Partying. Nothing brought relief. Nothing can. All that is past now, but that burning love for you remains. Why have you stuck with me so long through so many blatant attempts on my part to run you off?

Sometimes I can write. Other times I can write and actually say something worth hearing, but why you persist with me, and not someone else, I honestly do not know. All of this is so much more painful because I am so in love with you Jesus. I wish you could come to my house and eat with me, talk to me, man to man. You call me to solitude so that I may encounter you, and it overwhelms me with unspeakable joy.

I am not obedient.

I am not chaste.

I am not an even a very good Christian.
But I am yours to do with, as you will. Amen.

Eve of the Annunciation

We are now about to celebrate another great Solemnity -- is it Mary, or Jesus? I'm sure opinions abound on whether or not this is a Marian feast or a feast of Jesus. However, I tend toward a Marian feast because it is the celebration of the day the angel told her you are blessed above all women and you're going to have God's baby.

She asked how that was going to happen since she had not done the deed with anyone, and she gets that mysterious answer, "The Holy Spirit will come upon you,
and the power of the Most High will overshadow you."

Now if you were Mary would you check yourself into a mental hospital? Have a drink? Run home and tell mom? Consult your rabbi? or say

"Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord.
May it be done to me according to your word."

Clearly angels will not suddenly appear to any girls now and tell them they are going to have God's baby, but it makes me wonder how often do we get Annunciations, and flat out ignore them? We are so careful to be sane, modern people, that the merest hint of the "supernatural" of God has GOT to be psychotic. Right?

I would say that Bishop Oscar Romero had an Annunciation of sorts that converted him from a high class kinda guy, no nasty low life Indians please, to a Bishop who gave birth in his heart to Christ, the lover of the poor. He ended up taking a bullet for his trouble, too.

Dorothy Day? Mother Theresa? What about you personally? Has God sent an angel to you and you said, "I need to stop working so hard." Or, "I'm starting to lose it."

I issue that challenge not to the ungodly, but to the religious people who read this blog. May God open our eyes and hearts to his messengers at all times. May we be pliable in God's wisdom, plans, and ways. Amen.

Hurts Shmurts

The first Mass reading caught my ear today.

For I am about to create new heavens
and a new earth;
the former things shall not be remembered
or come to mind.
But be glad and rejoice for ever
in what I am creating;
for I am about to create Jerusalem as a joy,
and its people as a delight.
I will rejoice in Jerusalem,
and delight in my people;
no more shall the sound of weeping be heard in it,
or the cry of distress.
No more shall there be in it
an infant that lives but a few days,
or an old person who does not live out a lifetime;
for one who dies at a hundred years will be considered a youth,
and one who falls short of a hundred will be considered accursed.
They shall build houses and inhabit them;
they shall plant vineyards and eat their fruit.

The former things shall not be remembered. Think about that. How wonderful would it be if we could practice that in our lives? All the pains, wrongs, injustices, sins that we have suffered, and caused other to suffer, could be relegated to "The former things shall not be remembered."

People live their lives all caught up in the pains and miseries of their past. Most are not even aware of it. Those who are, usually don't know what to do to be free of it. And those who get free of it sometimes wonder what they are supposed to do now that there is nothing clogging up their life.

But that is counteracted -- almost -- by Jesus being, well, a class one A-hole to a father focused on saving the life of his child.

When he heard that Jesus had arrived in Galilee from Judea,
he went to him and asked him to come down
and heal his son, who was near death.
Jesus said to him,
"Unless you people see signs and wonders, you will not believe."
The royal official said to him,
"Sir, come down before my child dies."
Jesus said to him, "You may go; your son will live."

Hmmm, Jesus gave him a smartypants answer and the official completely blows it off and says, "Sir, come down before my child dies." The official didn't care about signs and wonders or theological questions of infinite magnitude, he just wanted "Sir come down before my child dies." What if he'd got all hurt and upset by Jesus answer and held on to it like we hold on to hurts everyday of our lives, that happened so long in the past we have to polish them daily just to keep from forgetting them.

How stunned Jesus must have been by this. I wonder if the verse came to his mind

I will rejoice in Jerusalem,
and delight in my people;
no more shall the sound of weeping be heard in it,
or the cry of distress.
No more shall there be in it
an infant that lives but a few days,

from the first reading? I don't know, no one knows, but these two reading taken together present us a rather interesting picture of the promise made, and the promise kept. The official just kept at him until Jesus said your child will live. It doesn't say the official went away scarred for life by his encounter with Jesus. He went away believing.

Do you believe Jesus can act in the same way in your life? May God bring us all to such faith that we no longer block the acts of our great and glorious savior. Amen.

Letting Go

After a fairly eventual meeting yesterday -- not bad, just eventful -- a friend of mine told me "you tend to carry all the sins of the world on your shoulders." It startled me for a second, but I realized that he was absolutely right. I hold on to things that are causing other people to suffer.

Perhaps that's why I feel called to be an Intercessor with the capital "I", because I have trouble releasing sorrows unless I give it to God. Okay, another reason might be my major messiah complex where I have to save everyone in the world, or my day is a total failure. The weight of sadness in the world weighs down on me in a palpable form. It's not my sorrow -- I used to think it was -- but something has to be done with it, and learning that my job is to send it up to God is proving a lot harder than I previously thought it would be.

I can't be responsible for the faith journey of every person that I come in contact with.

I can't be responsible for the fullest development of someone in the Lay Cistercian Charism.

At some point people have to take responsibility for their own actions, their own views, and their own sins. And if they don't, I can't help that. It is not my fault.

I've done mine. And, most important, I'm done with trying to do any of the above for others.

In the end, each of us works out our own salvation "with fear and trembling" before God. So to all of you out there with messiah complexes, give it up. You can't do it. You are not God, you aren't even 0.39487539847598475 of an angel. You are human. You are flawed. You will not save the world or carry all the sorrow without it tearing you apart.

Flee from it. Flee to God, release it to God and have done with the rest.

Saturday is Formation Day

Why is it, and I do believe this is universal, that a work you have put many hours into, when it comes to the revealing of it, provokes nothing but a sense of failure and feelings of inadequacy? Surely this is a remnant of unredeemed humanity and the realization that no matter how good we thing we have done, we have fallen short of the mark. What mark? The mark of God.

You see, while I have faith in this program, and have been told it is good, I feel it could be so much better, because ... well, I'm not God. Perfection is all I will settle for out of myself. In others, I will praise mediocrity if they have put their all into it. In myself, it has to be perfection or I'm down on me in a big way, heavy, and ugly.

So this blog entry is to say that yes my formation program is good, and it is flawed, and it is not perfect. Neither is it inadequate, or mediocre. Nor is it written by God. Therefore I accept this program as it is, and over time will revise it.

There, now I feel better.

The Golden Calf of My Life

Really, the title should be the many golden calves of my life. Without reviewing the entire Exodus saga once again, we'll just settle for up to this point they had every reason to stick with Moses and continue to have faith in God.

They did not. Moses is gone for the oh-so-symbolic 40 days and 40 nights, and immediately they forget that God has killed a whole mountain of Egyptians on their behalf, has split a sea in two so they could pass through, fed them manna, sent quails for them to catch and eat, gave them water where there had been no water, etc., and what do they do? They build a golden calf.

It is very easy to condemn those stupid ancient Israelites for having the brains of a peanut, until you consider those stupid ancient Israelites with the brains of a peanut reflect all too well -- us! Us as in, you and me. Heck, I don't need forty days to get fed up and turn aside, if I'm not really careful. The only way I stay "really careful" is to say the LOTH faithfully, or I will completely forget the God who saves me and exchange God for just about anything else that is glittery and distracting.

I keep trying to tell people "if you don't say the prayers how can you even pretend to remember God?" Some people have more interesting excuses than others, but bottom line is, they can't be bothered to say the prayers and thus keep themselves safe from the golden calf waiting around the corner. I don't mean to create some Monty Python image of a golden calf chasing Christians who don't say their prayers, all over town, but if it works ....

If I skip one of the Hours, it is almost certain that I'm going to find me a nice gold calf for the day. If I skip an entire day, then that calf becomes a COW and then it's so much harder to crack open that prayer book and say what needs saying. Some ask, "why do I need to recite prayers out of a book?" Well, because if you don't, chances are you won't bother at all with prayer. Of course, when you need something you'll be busy praying, but by then you might as well ask your golden cow for some help, because you will have forgotten the God who made you, kept you, and continues to keep you even if you "just remember God in the silence," or "I call God up in my mind."

What? God has a telephone number? Actually, yes, it's called Vigils, Lauds, Terce, Sect, None, Vespers and Compline. At the minimum you can do Lauds and Vespers. And babe, I do mean the minimum. So perhaps I should ask myself, you and everyone else, is God worth all that trouble? Or should I just give it to my golden cow?

Exodus and Me

Well, imagine this will you, other people before me have already made all the connections I was ready to make with Exodus! My first hint was in my constant riffling through the early church fathers I came upon The Life of Moses. Next came with the current issue of The Bible Today, the entire edition is devoted to Exodus -- and guess what -- they are developing same themes I thought I was so clever to discover.

The point here is not to denigrate me, but to show that no matter how familiar we think we are with a story, we know nothing until God reveals it to us through Lectio divina and careful study. I used to wonder why do we have to go through this same old story again and again and again, yeah the Red Sea is a kind of baptism, so what? Yeah, the bread from heaven, so what? But now! The so what is replaced by "my Lord and my God."

The rabbis have a story about how when the Egyptian forces were drowning, the Angels were rejoicing, God hushed them saying, "The Egyptians were my children too." That gives a whole different cast to the "rejoicing as their bodies washed up on the shore." It shows how God acts and how we perceive and interpret those acts, and sometimes has nothing at all to do with God's real purpose or intention.

Exodus was written during a violent phase of the history of humanity. You got nowhere and nothing without a serious fight. If your enemies were defeated, well, clearly God did it for you. "The Lord is a mighty warrior, YHWH (Blessed be God's Holy Name) is his name. At least he was in the eyes of the Egyptians and the Israelites.

Avoiding discussions about how our times are violent and we justify victory by saying God is on our side, I want to focus on the spiritual lessons that are daily landing like a 747 in my Lectio. A friend of mine wrote to me after the first Exodus installment and said,

I think Exodus is the story of our souls... We are liberated of all that is not of God and his divine nature ( bondage, sin, fear, traumas... )
to attain the "promised land" which is healing, which is our true nature and identity. "Let my people go, so they can worship me in the
desert..." to me is an allegory to the fact that until we SURRENDER and give up the slavery of depending on everything that is not God
for fullfillment we will not be able to worship Him because we will not understand His love and His power. Also, all that is not of God will
take so much effort and time that will rob us the strength needed for true worship. And yes, we worship Him in the wilderness, when is
hot and ugly. And yes, whining and praising do not mix well.

What more can I add to that?

Exodus Redux

Exodus, a book we've all been through many times, is this time, slapping me around with its deeply mystical subtext. In fact, although I am not yet ready to prove it, I think the entire Christian life is revealed in the Exodus account.

It all started for me with Psalm 78. It tells the Exodus in poetic fashion, and is called a history psalm. Yes, that is a type of psalm. Most people find it long and dismally boring. For me that psalm is the history of my own personal life as reflected by those disobedient Israelites running around the desert, forgetting God ever ten minutes. When God gets after them they suddenly remember, oh right! I'm not supposed to offer my sons and daughters to be slaughtered to demons.

You see, we are the people of Israel in that story, in so many ways, both as a church, and as individuals. Expect further developments on this theme because it's just starting to get in my head. I will have to consult the fathers, the early fathers that is, and then forget everything they said and pray until my eyeballs fall out of my head, then I'll have a workable thesis.

Think about will you? Exodus from Egypt, manna, quails, water from rocks, Sinai, etc.

In the Desert with Those Hungry Israelites

Today is a look at the first reading in the Office of Readings. Exodus 16:1-18, 35. So many things strike me about this reading that it is difficult to pick only one or two topics to develop.

The whole congregation of the Israelites complained against Moses and Aaron in the wilderness.

That this should be the first topic is only right, because it points out something very deep in human nature. The Israelites have already been through the parting of the sea on their behalf, and seen the bodies of the Egyptians washing up on the shore, and yet now that they are hungry, the grumbling starts. It says "the whole congregation," not just six or nine, but everyone of them started to grumble. And what about?

‘If only we had died by the hand of the Lord in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the fleshpots and ate our fill of bread; for you have brought us out into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger.’

Can you say lack of faith? Being spared the death of the first born, which the Egyptians had to suffer, and being delivered at the sea, now they are wishing they'd died in Egypt?

Here is my first point, we are ungrateful wretches who forget what God has done for us already, and only concentrate on what we want RIGHT NOW. Heck, I demonstrated that myself just a few days ago in an entry called Meltdown, so I am not immune to this nature of fallen humanity. No doubt I would have been a leader of people saying give us food! since I dearly love to eat.

Okay, so maybe that ungrateful wretches was a little strong, (I'm only saying that to assuage any hurt feelings, because we all know it's the truth.) We forget God has brought us thus far, and will continue to keep us.

Onward. What does God do? Does he do a Israelite SmackDown right then and there? No! In fact, God says

Then the Lord said to Moses, ‘I am going to rain bread from heaven for you, and each day the people shall go out and gather enough for that day. In that way I will test them, whether they will follow my instruction or not. On the sixth day, when they prepare what they bring in, it will be twice as much as they gather on other days.’

Wow! None of the fire and brimstone we certainly would have cast upon them had we been in God's position. How hard it is for us as people to forgive ungratefulness in others, and this was a perfect time for God to wipe the whole tribe off the map, and archeologists would be digging up their bones saying, "looks like they starved to death."

God did not do that. Instead God said he would "rain bread from heaven."

Full Stop.

Where have we heard that before? Hmm? Jesus, I am the bread which came down from heaven. Plenty more happened in this mornings reading but my brain got stuck right about here. Rain bread from heaven. I am the bread which came down from heaven.

Recently I was in a discussion with a friend about attending an Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament. We have different viewpoints, and equally valid, but for me the host on the altar inside the horribly named monstrance (ugh) is far more than any symbolic, or metaphorical, Jesus. It is the very nature of Christ, in the bread, the same that kept trying to make his dense apostles understand what he was trying to tell them. To me, that IS the bread that came down from heaven.

What is manna that covered the ground? I'm sure science could tell me, but I don't care, because I've decided that manna was God's own self given as food. In the same way that God's own self -- Christ -- is given as food in the Mass.

Orthodoxy: Did I convert to the wrong one?

Go hear this Psalm

Sprung Forward: Literally, Metaphorically

Yesterday I wrote of a personal meltdown. Last night we set our clocks forward. Here I sit in the twilight of dawn and it is nearly eight in the morning. The theme is springing forward: literally and metaphorically.

Literally

Since 1966 we have set out clocks to the tune of "Fall back, and Spring forward." A very interesting article yesterday discussed the damage this does to our circadian rhythms. It will take me weeks to adjust to the new time, for weeks I will feel that the sun is acting weird, that something isn't quite right.

Metaphorically

I sprang forward in my anger against God way too soon. It has taught me how easy it is for faith to be destroyed because of unwillingness to allow God to be God in God's own time. I bemoaned my months of prayers, even acknowledging that months of prayers do not automatically equal a desired answer, what I did not do was be silent before the God of Heaven and Earth.

The anger had a reason, and it was a solid reason because it involved the most vulnerable member of my family. Yet, the answer had come, but I did not know it, instead I jumped into my God-is-a-slacker mode. Blah blah blah.

So when it came time to go to bed, relieved of my fears and worries, I had to tell God the I'm-so-sorry-I-should-hide-but-you'd-find-me-anyway, prayers. Two things have I learned. 1. I am still a man of faith. 2. God made me and gave me my temperament. Over the years I have matured and tamed it from the wildness of teenagedom, but in the end, me is still me. However, I am in love with Jesus and the whole Trinity, and that is why I felt so hurt, let down, and plain old mad! As they say, faith is a relationship with a living being, so I blew up yesterday at the being I love most.

Holy God
Holy Mighty
Holy Immortal one, have mercy upon us.

Meltdown

I know, I know. This is supposed to be a meditation on daily scripture blog now. However, it is my blog, and I am going to digress today, along with some scripture. A family situation is now in such a bad place that I was again tested to absolute end of my faith, and cried out, "Do you just hate my family, God?" Is that a sin? I don't know, but I certainly can identify with ancient Israel when they cried out "where is your love of old?"

Prayer, at least 200 hours of prayer have been devoted to this situation and I feel used up, "picked up and thrown down," to again quote a psalm. I know we aren't on a barter system with God where 200 hours of prayer equals some favor, but I know we were told "ask and you shall receive!"

Well, where is that now? Does it take drawing my old blood in some sort of ancient Celtic ritual -- which I am certainly NOT going to do -- to get action on that promise? We are those promises made by Jesus right this second, in my family, in this very situation about which I have been praying for months and months?

O, God, why have you closed your ears to me? What evil have I done that has brought this hell on earth to the weakest member of my family? Because of this my brother may have a nervous breakdown, from which I'm not sure he could recover! Be merciful to us.

Holy God.
Holy Mighty
Holy and Immortal one, have mercy on us.

"You have heard that it was said to your ancestors,
You shall not kill; and whoever kills will be liable to judgment.
But I say to you, whoever is angry with his brother
will be liable to judgment"

Holy smokes! That really puts a spin on the old "I'm just thinking about hurting him, not doing it." Does that mean Jesus keeps us accountable for what we think? Or our emotions? Perhaps that is what the Desert Fathers and Mothers mean by nepsis, keeping guard over our thoughts.

The Mass readings for lent are proving to be a rich storehouse for Lectio. Because my mind works this way, I try to make sense of all the readings for the day. Today's reading for the Office of Readings was the death of the firstborn of Egypt. Exodus 12:21-36. For me, that is a tremendously sad meditation on what type of sorrow can afflict a life that remains so stubbornly resistant to God. However, it was only Pharaoh that was stubborn, not the thousands of Egyptians who lost their children. I would like to know what the Rabbi's have to say about this, because I have never dared to meditate on it too much.

Yet, the first reading at Mass was Ezekiel 18:21-28

Thus says the Lord GOD:
If the wicked man turns away from all the sins he committed,
if he keeps all my statutes and does what is right and just,
he shall surely live, he shall not die.
None of the crimes he committed shall be remembered against him;
he shall live because of the virtue he has practiced.
Do I indeed derive any pleasure from the death of the wicked?
says the Lord GOD.
Do I not rather rejoice when he turns from his evil way
that he may live?

There is a passage which seems to say everything I've said so far in this entry. The only sticker is that the poor Egyptians did not get to make any sort of choice at all. Pharaoh did all the choosing and the people did all the suffering. There is something unfair in that.

Oh, but God has something to say about that too in the Ezekiel reading

You say, "The LORD's way is not fair!"
Hear now, house of Israel:
Is it my way that is unfair, or rather, are not your ways unfair?

Now that makes me return to the very first quote and thought of this entry. We have to take into account our own thoughts and actions. The anger we harbor in our hearts. That refusal to forgive, holding grudges, or as the Ironic Catholic said, we don't have time for this crap people. We really don't have time to worry about conservative/liberal, republican/democrat, or "he/she hurt my feelings twenty years ago and I hope they get the plague."

Julian of Norwich says "All will be well," and it will, if we remember "forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us." And, "whoever is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment."

Ask, Seek, Knock

Today's gospel is arguably one of my very favorites in the entire NT. It makes you pause and consider that beyond the asking, seeking and knocking bit, there is

If you then, who are wicked,
know how to give good gifts to your children,
how much more will your heavenly Father give good
things to those who ask him.

For me that's a clear reminder that God is so much more than we can think of, or imagine. I'm not referring to any philosophical formula either, I'm talking plain old if God is greater than we are in every possible way, then what must his mercy be like? The other side, of course, is what must his justice be like? Seriously, though, is there anything in today's gospel that even hints at thunderbolts of divine judgment and justice? No, there isn't.

When we turn to face God with full faith and then ask, seek, or knock, we then find a completely different reality awaits us. People say, "I did ask and nothing happened." And I usually respond, "Was it the only time you've spoken to God in sixteen years?" We think just because we believe that it should be enough. It is enough -- enough to build your faith. Then again, who bothers with actually building their faith. Catechism was enough, right?

Wrong. It doesn't matter if you are Catholic or Protestant, the majority stopped their education about God, and their own faith journey about the time they were confirmed. After that, why, Sunday school is for children, not me. And what that really means is, "I think it's all a nice fairy tale but I'm afraid to admit that even to myself."

Even though I typed that in the voice of someone else, I have to claim that there are time I'm tempted by the same thought. So why doesn't it drag me down? Because I spend time on building my weak faith, and saying to God, "I believe, help my unbelief."

It is not my intention to drag down a wonderful gospel reading with unbelief, but too often I've heard people quote this and say it did not work for them. Well, it's not a magic formula. And, a relationship with God is a relationship, not a short-order diner! If the only time you speak to God is to say, "Hey, pay my bills," then why should God pay any attention to you? Does that mean God doesn't love you? No, it means you don't love God and that is clear to him.

Life is not all about God doing things for us, we have to do some things for God as well, such as pray, bother to read the scriptures, go to Mass or Church, make an effort to show that "yes, I take this seriously." Treat each other as we want to be treated.

And what a coincidence, that happens to be the end of today's gospel reading!

Do to others whatever you would have them do to you.
This is the law and the prophets.

Build A Baby

I admit that on many matters I am left of center. An article today, though, has scared me. Basically, it's along the lines of build a baby. Yes, I'm a little surprised by my own reaction, because I am in favor of genetic testing to prevent such things as Tay-Sachs Disease. That does not mean that I support any attempts at build-a-baby. There are Build-A-Bear stores, and I love them, but Build-A-Baby? Excuse me, no.

So for my readers who are used to my liberal rants, this is the shocker. I know they are only offering eye color, but what's next? Oh, no gay baby please. Oh, we don't want a girl, so make it a boy. Or, 6'4", atheletic, IQ of 548670, and no chest hair please.

Let's keep genetic testing where it can do the most good, detecting the diseases like Tay-Sachs. Let me fill you in on Tay-Sachs

Infants with Tay-Sachs disease appear to develop normally for the first few months of life. Then, as nerve cells become distended with fatty material, a relentless deterioration of mental and physical abilities occurs. The child becomes blind, deaf, and unable to swallow. Muscles begin to atrophy and paralysis sets in. Other neurological symptoms include dementia, seizures, and an increased startle reflex to noise.

Oh, and in addition to such a miserable life, they often die by age 4. But choosing the eye color? I'm not convinced.

Our Father In Heaven

Today's gospel reading was Jesus teaching us how to pray. Matthew 6:7-15. I don't think there is anything I could add to this great teaching given to us by God incarnate. St. Francis of Assisi did a magnificent job of paraphrase, and I shall leave you in his capable and holy hands.

Temptation, Temptation Everywhere, and no Fun to be Had

Yup, today was the gospel reading from Mark about the temptation of Christ. It is only three verses, you'd think Mark could do better than that, but I suppose he was in a hurry after all. To be perfectly honest, I found it to be not only the shortest gospel reading on record (don't take my word for that) but it's also the least informative. Here it is in the full.

The Spirit drove Jesus out into the desert,
and he remained in the desert for forty days,
tempted by Satan.
He was among wild beasts,
and the angels ministered to him.

After John had been arrested,
Jesus came to Galilee proclaiming the gospel of God:
"This is the time of fulfillment.
The kingdom of God is at hand.
Repent, and believe in the gospel."

We don't even get the conversation between Jesus and Satan, just that Satan pestered him the entire time. Oh, and he was with the wild beasts. Hmmm, this is starting to sound a bit like everyday life isn't it? Satan pesters us day and night, and the wild beasts of bad habits, addictions, etc., are always with us to some greater or lesser degree.

The rest of that sentence though is "angels ministered to him." Now, if we're thinking of Satan and wild beasts in our lives, then the next step is angels that minister to us! Angels do not have to have wings and halos and fly about with blond hair spreading majestically behind them, although that would be interesting to see, then we are left with the possibility that angels are sometimes those people around us. Those people in our lives that say the right thing when we need it the very most.

I picked up a hitchhiker once back in the 70s, when it was semi safe to do so, because it was a toad choking rain, and when I dropped this guy off at the hotel he was trying to get to, he said, "sometimes we entertain angels unaware." I never saw him again, but you can be sure that some 30 years later I have not forgotten him! AT the time I thought he might be the angel, but right now I'm wondering if the angel in that particular situation wasn't me.

Brrr, that's a scary thought. It's one that has to be entertained seriously, because he was in the raging storm and I stopped to help him; in fact, drove out of my way to take him where he was going. What I am saying right now has never occured to me until this moment. It certainly puts a kink in what I thought was going to be a totally different point.

That's the problem with thinking about scripture, life, and promising to blog as often as you can. You come across these things, these moments where the bible reaches out and does the equivalent of a reality check.

And here I thought this was the most boring gospel reading I'd ever heard. Just goes to show you that when you stop and think about scripture, it'll shake you up, mess with your head, and show you once again that God is with you.

Amen.