Friday after Ash Wednesday

Wow, such an auspicious name for today, Friday after Ash Wednesday. It's not Friday of first week of Lent, or anything, just plain ol' Friday after Ash Wednesday. Does this mean lent hasn't started yet? hahahahahaha. No. Lent has begun. The first Sunday of Lent is just that, first Sunday.

Today's gospel, linked to the actual site lest the Bishops decide to sue me for lifting off their website

The disciples of John approached Jesus and said,
"Why do we and the Pharisees fast much,
but your disciples do not fast?"
Jesus answered them, "Can the wedding guests mourn
as long as the bridegroom is with them?
The days will come when the bridegroom is taken away from them,
and then they will fast."

I had not really thought about it, but it must have been a very confusing thing for the disciples of John to see Jesus, the man their master John had called the lamb of God, not doing anything like John had done things. It must have felt like adding insult to injury when Jesus started talking about bridegrooms and wedding guests. And this being taken away business, what is that all about, they must have wondered.

To be honest this passage has always confused me a little bit, too. I don't have any developed doctrine to offer on it, but over the years I've come to understand that Jesus did not come preaching repentance. Jesus came preaching the immediate presence of the Kingdom of God. People who preach repentance fast. The Son of God preaches, urges on us, the immediacy of the Kingdom of God.

The Kingdom of God among us right now is not a reason for fasting. It is a reason for rejoicing. With the word made flesh with them, how could the apostles do anything but be wedding guests? So then why do we fast?

Jesus said "when the bridegroom is taken away." That has happened, but only in the sense that his physical body does not live on earth anymore. This is the important part, his physical body is in heaven! Before God at this very moment. That's why I love the Sacred Heart so much. It's not a doctrine, or a fantasy by some overwrought nun, it's a reality of the Ascension of Christ!

We fast now because the church has a year that tries to follow the life of Christ. Forty days Jesus was tempted in the wilderness. For those forty days he fasted. The church then attached that forty day fast to three days of the Triduum: Holy Thursday, Good Friday, and Holy Saturday. Then the miracle of Resurrection -- Easter!

The important thing in today's gospel is that even though Jesus body is not on earth, we live in the Kingdom of God. Because we do, and because we are followers of the church year and the liturgy, we celebrate the fast of lent so that when the horrors of Holy Week come, we may be mortified in our hearts, and then be raised again to joyous life in Easter.

I Installed Feedjit Today

And discovered what I already knew. No one reads my blog. Why do I bother? Oh what a pity party.

Okay, I'm over that. I blog because I like it, and sometimes, believe it or not, I have something important to say. Not long ago I promised to focus this blog on the daily readings from either the LOTH or Mass. I intend to keep that promise because without focusing on the scriptures then we are not in any communication with God. It is in the study and reading, and lectio that we encounter God.

We all read countless books on spirituality, formation to a certain kind of life, how to be happier, how to have a holy lent, how to give up bad habits, and on and on and on and on. How much time do you spend actually reading the books of the Bible? I was horrified this morning at Office of Readings: "Pharaoh then gave his subjects this command: ‘Throw all the boys born to the Hebrews into the river, but let all the girls live.’" I was just as horrified by the Gospel when Jesus said

The Son of Man must suffer greatly and be rejected
by the elders, the chief priests, and the scribes,
and be killed and on the third day be raised.

That just seems so unfair for poor Jesus to have to put up with that. So we have drowning of baby boys, and Jesus knowledge that nothing good was going to really happen for us until he suffered like a common slave and criminal. If you have not read both of those today, then you are less for the lack of contact with the Holy Writ.

I challenge all of you, all three of you, to put down one spiritual book you were going to read, and give that time to serious lectio divina. Let God speak to you. The results may astonish you.

Ash Wednesday 2009

Here we are again at another Lent, another Ash Wednesday. We are told in the Gospel to not wear our religion out there for everyone to see, yet ashes are put on our heads. I love the ritual both of receiving the ashes, and of going home and washing them off. Why?

This, rather, is the fasting that I wish: releasing those bound unjustly, untying the thongs of the yoke; Setting free the oppressed, breaking every yoke;
Sharing your bread with the hungry, sheltering the oppressed and the homeless; Clothing the naked when you see them, and not turning your back on your own.
Then your light shall break forth like the dawn, and your wound shall quickly be healed; Your vindication shall go before you, and the glory of the LORD shall be your rear guard.
Then you shall call, and the LORD will answer, you shall cry for help, and he will say: Here I am! If you remove from your midst oppression, false accusation and malicious speech;
If you bestow your bread on the hungry and satisfy the afflicted; Then light shall rise for you in the darkness, and the gloom shall become for you like midday;

So it seems that what God wants is justice from us. The same things Jesus said he wanted all along. Even in the book of Isaiah, in the days of the Law, God was making it clear I want justice, I want goodness, not your stupid sacrifices.

What would happen if we did exactly what the passage above said? Well if we set the oppressed free, we would not have third world nations to make our clothes for pennies a day. "Sheltering the oppressed and the homeless, clothing the naked -- what is this, the do-gooder wish list? We are busy people with important business to attend to. Those vagrants in the street deserve what they got. Isn't that so? Those queers get what they deserve, right? If those idiots hadn't bought homes they couldn't afford they wouldn't be in this mess, right?"

What would happen if we did exactly what the passage said? It would cause a rebellion, the loss of riches that were gotten off the backs of the oppressed. Heaven knows we may pray for that, and some of us may live it, but ...

What would happen if we did exactly what the passage said? First, we would have to trust in God absolutely to handle the entire thing. Can that happen? Can enough of us let it happen for it to spread to a world wide happening?

Let us pray unceasingly that it may be so.

If It's Monday It Must Nearly Be Lent

Lent is mere days away. Tomorrow I intend to find a pancake supper and make a P.I.G. pig of myself. Because on Ash Wednesday I will feel like fasting.

Speaking of fasting, as I'm a fat fellow, fasting has never been an easy thing for me to do. Sister Meg Funk has suggested that we might fast from things, as well as food. (Now if I'm wrong and that was some other writer, I'm officially sorry.) One of the tough things for me and fasting is headaches, and terminal grouchiness, which has everyone who comes in contact with me pushing food at me. I'm hypoglycemic, but there are ways to fast without dropping your blood sugar to nil.

Fasting from things...well now, is that suggesting I should give up something I don't like, such as FOX News or CNN? (I know, how can I be a liberal and not love CNN) No, because what's to give up, I hate both equally. So, in desperation I have turned to the scriptures and looked up the reading for Ash Wednesday. And from that wonderful book, Joel, we find:

Even now, says the LORD,
return to me with your whole heart,
with fasting, and weeping, and mourning;
Rend your hearts, not your garments,
and return to the LORD, your God.
For gracious and merciful is he,
slow to anger, rich in kindness,
and relenting in punishment.

"Return to me with your whole heart." How many of us might say we do that at any time, much less at lent. The scriptures, being relentless in how well it knows us gives us Jesus saying,

"Take care not to perform righteous deeds
in order that people may see them."

Ouch. How many of us have been caught saying, Oh I gave that up for lent? What we give up for lent becomes our badge of pride, and we don't even have the grace to blush. Lately, there seems to be interest in taking on something for lent. You might slowly read that spiritual book that you've feared reading, because if you did it might change you. Or, you could overcome an aversion to a certain type of person or sickness, and actually do something for those people.

As of yet I haven't decided exactly what I'm going to do. I assure you though, the moment I do I'll be on here blowing my trumpet...oh wait. Maybe I better not do that.

Hmmmm.

Thus says the LORD:
Remember not the events of the past,
the things of long ago consider not;
see, I am doing something new!
Now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? Isaiah 43

Yesterday was the meeting of the Saturday community of Lay Cistercians of Gethsemani. We had a wonderful meeting, and so many people showed up we almost ran out of chairs. The two monks who were there to observe and learn about us, were I think somewhat surprised at how many showed up on a less than lovely day. For over 900 years the Cistercians have been an order of monks and nuns. We have been a Lay community for less that twenty years. The rank and file of monks and nuns still aren't quite sure what we are up to.

With that in mind it is easy to see why I was a little surprised this morning when checking today's mass readings, to find the quote "see, I am doing something new!"

Indeed, the Lord is doing something new with the Lay Cistercian movement, and I can only believe it is for the help of the entire world. Readers of this blog know that I firmly believe the Cistercian charism is a healing charism, so the fact that the Holy Spirit has slid over the walls of monastic enclosure to calls us together as lay people -- in my opinion -- can only mean that we are meant to be a healing presence in the world. The contemplative presence is a healing presence. We are the hands and feet in the world, of the monks and nuns who keep the charism in monastic enclosure. They are wholly given to contemplation, we are given to contemplation and action in the secular world.

What made yesterday even more wonderful is all these people are from Kentucky. We are no longer just a small Sunday group, we are turning into a vibrant and large Saturday and Sunday group. During the past two meetings everyone whose come essentially has stated they came because they felt called to the place. One of the important vocational features that the monks look for in a new candidate is does he feel a special call to the place itself. Not only does that apply with monastic candidates, it seems to apply to the Lay Cistercians as well.

Glory to God for all the powerful works done for us. Glory to God for each and every one of us.

Amen.

Pray To God: Reverse Global Warming

I know a very few number of people read this blog, but I want those of you who do to pray to God Almighty to reverse Global Warming. God can do it. Intercessors must stand in the breach and beg the Lord to turn back the damage we humans have done, and save the earth, God's own creation.

Who will join me? If you will then write to me and say that you will pray each day at least twice for God to reverse Global Warming. I am serious. This is not a joke. The bible says "in everything make supplication for all". Well, I think the earth is worth making supplication for, do you? Science is doing its best, the preachers are doing their best, but what about those of us who pray, those of us who stand before God with fear and say, "Lord turn back your anger, reverse Global Warming."

Why not? What do we have to lose by praying this way? Is our planet, this marvelous creation not worth the effort it takes to simply pray to God to accomplish what no work of ours can do? God can, and will, turn back Global Warming but we must pray for this. We must pray continuously.

If you think I'm crazy, that's fine. But pray anyway, say "Lord turn back your anger, reverse Global Warming." Or is it that we say we believe, but deep down we don't believe in the power of God at all?

Do You Need to Pray

Follow this link to find how the otherness of Orthodoxy can provide a solitude made of sound. Were it not so very ethnic, I would have become Orthodox instead of Roman Catholic, but as my ancestry is solidly European, I went with the closest.

However, never, never, never underestimate the power of Orthodoxy, Russian Orthodoxy in particular, especially when it comes to the music, and how it can lead one -- just like an icon -- into a realm of the spirit where you can meet God.

Thank you Fr. Stephen at Glory to God for All Things.

A Lovely Light

Even during the most difficult times I try to keep an eye out for the beautiful. This picture, taken by RIWXPhoto over at Weather Underground caught my eye this morning. I urge you to click on the link and see the photo full sized, it is worth the effort.

People ask about the miraculous, or seeing the hand of God: I say look around you, look up at the sky, down at the ground, feel the winds blowing so hard the trees crack and house moans. Go to the ocean and watch infinity wash up on the shore. Realize that the infinity of the ocean is finite, but to our small view, it might as well be infinite. The skeptic will see the cloud and the sun and the vapor trails making something pretty, but nothing miraculous. Let them see that.

I see a piece of beauty that was caught and recognized as a miracle just for me. Dare I go so far as to be poetic and call it a "woman clothed in the sun."

Harsh Days and Comforting Scriptures

Today my niece had to be put into psychiatric care because she's borderline personality, and pregnant. There is a lot of pain in my heart right now, and some for reasons I will not display on this blog, but in all this pain and feeling of anguish, despair, and absolute abandonment: the short reading for Night Prayer is

May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you in every way and preserve your life and your soul and your body without blemish, at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.

There is no particular rhyme or reason why certain scriptures comfort me at any given moment, but today I found out that she'd harbored a wish to actually do me physical harm. Now, my niece is not responsible for her own thoughts right now, and I know that, but nevertheless it hurt me very deeply to discover this.

Then I check Compline (night prayer) and find that short reading. And suddenly everything falls into place. My fear, my anger, my despair, my sense of personal security.

Glorgy to God for All Things Scores a Knock Out

Father Stephen over at Glory to God for All Things has posted a very interesting piece on praying for others, and sin. Fr. Stephen is a deeply intellectual man as this snippet will show

I cannot argue on some objective ground that you are responsible for the sins of all. You may want to refuse that kind of unity with the whole of humanity. But it you do so, you will not be able to pray for them. You cannot pray for the other as though you had no connection to them. Praying as though you had no connection is mere noblesse oblige, our pride that somehow we are different (and superior) to those for whom we pray.

He doesn't stop there though, he goes on to say that prayer with Christ requires us to take this stand because "He has “become sin” (2 Corinthians 5:21). Thus if we are to pray in union with Christ, we will also have to pray as though “having become sin.” Thus we can honestly pray and say that we are the chief of sinners."

Sometimes I wonder why I bother blogging at all. Wow, Fr. Stephen, what an entry. Bravo.

Whew!

Leaving last night on the "darkness is my only friend," note made me feel very good last night. Why? because I knew it was safe to complain to God--as that psalm so clearly does--and not go over the limit. I'm a person who is always going over the limit in some way. I don't know why that is, or particularly care anymore, but I do try to stay more between the lines these last few years. And no, I don't mean drunk driving!

Today was my first chance to go back to Mass since Super Bowl Sunday. It felt great. It was also just about exhausting. One thing I've learned, though, is not to take the cup in a place where the wine is very weak. There is simply not enough alcohol content in the wine to purify the cup on each wipe. Apparently intinction is not done in the archdiocese. However, the Cistercian saint, Alice, has left us knowledge that when you receive the Body you have received the Blood as well. Because I'm afraid of the people at Catholic Online, I'll give you the link to Alice and not risk their ire by stealing their content. To post it on the blog costs 19.95.

Anyway, the need to protect our intellectual content got me off track. St. Alice is a comfort to me because while I always felt very strongly about communion of both bread and wine, I can have Christ, soul and divinity, in just the bread.

I think that's all I want to say today. Sorry, for lack of confrontational, or mediation content. I would say if you want to think about today's Mass reading you should check out Hobo Journal. He beat me to the punch, and did a better job anyway.

Sunday Night and Me

Psalm 88

Prayer for Help in Despondency

A Song. A Psalm of the Korahites. To the leader: according to Mahalath Leannoth. A Maskil of Heman the Ezrahite.
¹O Lord, God of my salvation,
when, at night, I cry out in your presence,
²let my prayer come before you;
incline your ear to my cry.

³For my soul is full of troubles,
and my life draws near to Sheol.
⁴I am counted among those who go down to the Pit;
I am like those who have no help,
⁵like those forsaken among the dead,
like the slain that lie in the grave,
like those whom you remember no more,
for they are cut off from your hand.
⁶You have put me in the depths of the Pit,
in the regions dark and deep.
⁷Your wrath lies heavy upon me,
and you overwhelm me with all your waves.
Selah

⁸You have caused my companions to shun me;
you have made me a thing of horror to them.
I am shut in so that I cannot escape;
⁹ my eye grows dim through sorrow.
Every day I call on you, O Lord;
I spread out my hands to you.
¹⁰Do you work wonders for the dead?
Do the shades rise up to praise you?
Selah
¹¹Is your steadfast love declared in the grave,
or your faithfulness in Abaddon?
¹²Are your wonders known in the darkness,
or your saving help in the land of forgetfulness?

¹³But I, O Lord, cry out to you;
in the morning my prayer comes before you.
¹⁴O Lord, why do you cast me off?
Why do you hide your face from me?
¹⁵Wretched and close to death from my youth up,
I suffer your terrors; I am desperate.^*
16Your wrath has swept over me;
your dread assaults destroy me.
¹⁷They surround me like a flood all day long;
from all sides they close in on me.
¹⁸You have caused friend and neighbour to shun me;
my companions are in darkness.

Upper Respiratory Infection = No Church

I go to daily Mass, but haven't been in almost a week becuase of this URI (see title) and can't go today, even though it is Sunday because I might infect the rest of the nation. I didn't think these things were contagious until my doctor said stay home, and in your room. Obedient as I am. Sometimes. I have stayed in my room.

But I am going stir crazy now. There comes a point where your energy begins to return and you think "oh, I'm over it." Just remind yourself that energy is a lake and just because energy is returning to your empty lake doesn't mean you have any reserves yet. In fact, it takes time to build up the reserves. In the meantime you feel like "if I don't get out of here soon I will surely die."

So I have decided that today I will meet every urge to scream with one Our Father, and one Hail Mary. The stronger the urge, the more of the same. If I have to say twenty rosaries today to keep from going crazy, then I will. There is a greater point here that I'd like to dwell with a moment, and that is how prayer can be our companion during the recovery after an illness. When I'm in the full throws of sick, I can't think much less really pray. It's the recovery process where my mind starts playing nasty tricks, luring me into energy wasting actions, or into sinful reactions like anger, self pity, grouch, etc.

In the meantime go over to dotCommonweal and weigh in on Copyrighting the Liturgy. After that I suggest a view of Bryan Sherwood's pictures of his day trip. I love Bryan's photography. Bryan is a refugee from the Church of Christ, same denomination I fled from. Currently he is an Anglo-Catholic, but really he's more of a Lay Cistercian than anything. Gotta love him though, he does keep on keeping on.

I never mention Michael Brown's blog Stumbling along the Spiritual Path because he used to publish a newsletter that total membership defied counting. However his posts about dealing with his father, who is an Alzheimers patient, are both a dose or reality, and a testament of what love in bad situations looks like. Hats off to you Michael.

I may be tempted to post again today, so if you receive me by email, be forwarned. A bored Steve is a posting Steve.

May the Peace of Christ Be With Us All

Changes in My Links

I've been holding back from you. Yes, how could I do it, I know, I know...but it's true. There are other blogs I like to read and even have on [carefully checking for evesdroppers] Google Reader. We shall now take a stroll through the blogs I have added.

Ask Sister Mary Martha is a fun blog, that often answers questions in both funny, and serious ways. I advise you not to ask things that you don't want an answer to, or can't take the answer, for she will give you the answer.

The next one is A Vow of Conversation by a Trappistine in the Netherlands. Koningsoord Abbey to be exact. This blog is erudite, thoughtful, and will make you think, and maybe even have to look up a word or two you didn't know. She is the person responsible for my growing interest in an Orthodox writer named Zizioulas.

dotCommonweal The Blog is a favorite of mine as many bloggers contribute to it, and some of them are awesome. One of my very favorites is Pontifications, a blog kept by David Gibson. I like him a lot. We think along similar lines.

Human Rights Watch is just the right thing to do. It's not particularly uplifting, but if you have the charism of Intercessory prayer, then you have to keep track of this site. View it often, and pray about what you see.

Now, In Character - A Journal of Everyday Virtue, is actually a magazine which aims to keep, and I quote

Each issue will examine a single virtue from different perspectives, bringing together scholars and journalists versed in public policy, the humanities, religion, and the sciences.

Now I ask you, who can resist that?

The Ironic Catholic is currently my favorite blog. I don't know why, but the sense of humor about Madam IC keeps me smiling.

And of course no new blog entry about new blogs can leave out The Hobo Journal, by my friend Gary.

So there is my potpourri of blogs that you may amuse yourself with, as I frequently have nothing worth a penny to say. haha, alas, tis true.

Love You All

Office of Readings Can Be Scary

This morning the Office of Readings had Psalm 43(44), which I find deeply unsettling. It starts off innocently enough

Our own ears have heard, O God,
and our fathers have proclaimed it to us,
what you did in their days, the days of old:
how with your own hand you swept aside the nations
and put us in their place,

Nothing out of place or threatening with that. In fact, that's rather comforting to be able to depend on such a God. The entire first part of the psalm is like that. Then after the Glory Be, things change.

But now, God, you have spurned us and confounded us,
so that we must go into battle without you.
You have put us to flight in the sight of our enemies,
and those who hate us plunder us at will.
You have handed us over like sheep sold for food,
you have scattered us among the nations.

That is a far cry from the confidence of that first verse. We might say there is a fly in the ointment here. One is tempted to think well, you forget to obey God, turned away as always and went your own way, but the psalmist says:

All this happened to us,
but not because we had forgotten you.
We were not disloyal to your covenant;
our hearts did not turn away;
our steps did not wander from your path;
and yet you brought us low,
with horrors all about us:
you overwhelmed us in the shadows of death.

That is the scary part. It seems from this psalm that God is capricious and can pick us up and throw us down at will, for whatever reason, or no reason at all. Usually, such psalms end with a prayer of faith. Not this time.

Our souls are crushed into the dust,
our bodies dragged down to the earth.
Rise up, Lord, and help us.
In your mercy, redeem us.

So what is really going on here? Are all the problems the psalmist is lamenting really an action of God? Or is it a projection of the writer upon God? Sort of like "You're not doing what I thought you would do." Isn't that what we do all the time? "Lord you were supposed to help me out here, but you didn't? Haven't I gone to church? Said the rosary? Read the bible? Been a good person? And still things happen to me?"

Perhaps the psalmist is suffering from the same problem we do, God does not act according to our schedules. We tend to blame God for things that have nothing to do with God. I don't know about the historical setting for this psalm, and purposefully did not look it up, but I would guess freewill actions brought about the situation for this lamentation. And God ended up with the blame.

As Least Read Blog on Internet

As the least read blog on the internet I don't feel too bad about what I'm about to do: change the character of my blog. I tried spiritual journal...that didn't work out because I'm not telling you half of it. Then I got a little political...that didn't work out because I just get mad. So now I'm going to go a completely different route and reflect on the daily mass readings, OR the readings from the Office of Readings.

What set me on this path was Presentation. The Exodus reading says it all very clearly.

"When the LORD, your God, has brought you into the land of the Canaanites, which he swore to you and your fathers he would give you, you shall dedicate to the LORD every son that opens the womb; and all the male firstlings of your animals shall belong to the LORD. Every first-born of an ass you shall redeem with a sheep. If you do not redeem it, you shall break its neck. Every first-born son you must redeem. If your son should ask you later on, 'What does this mean?' you shall tell him, 'With a strong hand the Lord brought us out of Egypt, that place of slavery. When Pharaoh stubbornly refused to let us go, the Lord killed every first-born in the land of Egypt, every first-born of man and of beast. That is why I sacrifice to the Lord everhthing of the male sex that opens the womb, and why I redeem every first born of my sons.'

Lucky for us two turtle doves or pigeons could be used as sacrifice, otherwise you had to wring the neck of the animal. Hopefully that would never apply to a child. Just the same, it brought to my mind the concept of how what goes around comes around. As if God were saying, Never forget what I did for you, I killed all those males for you, therefore, you must redeem all the males born to you and to your animals.

I know the Catholic Church does not hold with the idea of Karma, but one does reap what one sows, does one not? So the idea of Jesus being presented in the temple as the fulfillment and ending of that requirement makes the feast of the Presentation infinitely more interesting. This reading from Hebrews that was the second reading at Mass for the Presentation carries the theme further.

Since the children share in blood and flesh,
Jesus likewise shared in them,
that through death he might destroy the one
who has the power of death, that is, the Devil,
and free those who through fear of death
had been subject to slavery all their life. Surely he did not help angels
but rather the descendants of Abraham.

Granted, today I have a cold and Presentation was two days ago, but the impression those two readings had on me remains as strong as if it were today. At some point the redeeming of first born males had to come to an end. Jesus came to fulfill the Law, and the reading from Hebrews makes it clear how he did it. There is mystery here, I just wish I could penetrate it, and take it into my inner being. Perhaps after I've prayed with and meditated upon it, more light might shine upon it.