Tomorrow

After waiting 22 months for some resolution to my disability claim, tomorrow I go to the doctor who will officially pronounce me disabled. Now, I've already been to the neurosurgeon, and radiologists, and my regular doctor, all of whom agree that the degree of degradation in my discs and the arthritis growing around my spine, makes it very painful for me to walk, means nothing. I have to go see a doctor who will say, oh, it's true.

There are times it feels as if God is taking away all the possible props and things I might cling to, just so I can fall flat onto grace. I have to believe that that is precisely what is going on, but my prayer is "I believe, help my unbelief." Jesus himself taught that faith the size of a mustard seed could do anything, but that is a great deal of faith. It's not how wide your faith is, but how deep it is. There is always doubt. Hence, "I believe, help my unbelief."

So, pray for me tomorrow, as I pray for you.