Ascension Sunday or 7th Sunday of Easter

I thought to be attending the Solemnity at Gethsemani on Thursday. That did not happen, instead I ended up going to Nazareth for Mass because there was the threat of very bad news from my niece whom is 8 months pregnant. All turned out well, but when I left for church I was in serious of need of being able to get home very, very quickly if worst came to worst.

Because of that I said all the office for Ascension that day, and decided to let my daily office be off from the rest of the Diocese. Today I celebrated the feast of the Ascension at Nazareth, otherwise I'd have missed the Feast completely.

For those might not know, I have been diagnosed with serious cervical stenosis, which means the wreck that is my neck, is compressing nerves, and my spinal cord. I see the Neurosurgeon in early June. On Friday my computer got stuck in a start up loop and had to go to the PC Doc here in Bardstown. Sadly, I shan't have it back until Tuesday. That means my distraction of playing Colonization, has been taken away from me, and my hasn't that just caused the deepest sort of split in my personality.

Why? Oh, I'm so glad you asked. Because I had prayed to God, "Please, help me to spend more time with you and not seeking out ways to avoid you. After all, if you've called me to this life I should spend more time with you, and less distracting myself."

Now, my temptation is to leave the entire subject right there, but people tell me, you leave out everything that makes sense of what little you do say. Okay, then, here. I like to play that game, I like it a lot. It allows me to avoid issues of the deep down and stinky variety, which only prolonged sessions of prayer can help. It is not always easy to get prolonged sessions of prayer when I am in near constant pain, increasing daily, and people are more interested in one upping me on their agonies than in helping me deal with this.

The fact that my hands are working less well each day bothers me, and without my game to play I am forced to face it alone, without distraction, and I'm so irritated that the very effort of facing God brings out the very worst in me. This is a point in my life that just sucks. Plain old sucks.

On top of that, I think it's time to cut off a friend whom I'm rather devoted to, but whom has become an debit. Pray for me. Please, because I'm not sure I can even do it for myself.

Happy Ascension!