Meltdown

I know, I know. This is supposed to be a meditation on daily scripture blog now. However, it is my blog, and I am going to digress today, along with some scripture. A family situation is now in such a bad place that I was again tested to absolute end of my faith, and cried out, "Do you just hate my family, God?" Is that a sin? I don't know, but I certainly can identify with ancient Israel when they cried out "where is your love of old?"

Prayer, at least 200 hours of prayer have been devoted to this situation and I feel used up, "picked up and thrown down," to again quote a psalm. I know we aren't on a barter system with God where 200 hours of prayer equals some favor, but I know we were told "ask and you shall receive!"

Well, where is that now? Does it take drawing my old blood in some sort of ancient Celtic ritual -- which I am certainly NOT going to do -- to get action on that promise? We are those promises made by Jesus right this second, in my family, in this very situation about which I have been praying for months and months?

O, God, why have you closed your ears to me? What evil have I done that has brought this hell on earth to the weakest member of my family? Because of this my brother may have a nervous breakdown, from which I'm not sure he could recover! Be merciful to us.

Holy God.
Holy Mighty
Holy and Immortal one, have mercy on us.