Blustery Monday, Easter 2

There is a willow tree in my backyard which is very slender, and she's had a very hard year with drought, and then a freeze that bent her branches all the way to the ground. She made it though. Now each spindly branch has a bud and soon the bundle of sticks will show the leaves that make her a willow. Huge winds have come, she has not broken. Nothing has killed this tree which looks like it can barely stand up.

It's similar to how God supports us in our lives. Certainly without God we, like the willow, could not stand up. Something in that willow keeps it upright. Something of God in us, keeps us at least trying to be upright. Ultimately, any uprightness in us is a Glory of God, for we had nothing to do with it. Just like that willow tree which God supports in the same way.

Abbot Damien's Last Abbatial Mass, and I got there

Although I am on Klonopin and bearing a black eye, I convinced my mother to ride to the Abbey for Mass. Now, that sentence is packed with meaning, and I cannot procede until I've explained it all.

The Klonopin I've mentioned being on. I'm better with it, but it is still a mighty powerful Benzodiazapin that you don't want to mess around with. When it says sit down, I sit down. So, this morning I knew in my heart I could make the drive there and back, but that being alone no one could say, "you better pull over and let me drive." I asked my mother to do it.

The black eye. Well sometime drainage comes in a usual way, you cough a bit and sniff and snort, but this time it was like a baseball, I coughed, choked, and passed out. Slamming the ridge of my temple bone onto the baseboard. This was in front of other people, so I have witnesses it is the truth.

Now, the most interesting aspect of that opening paragraph is my mother at Catholic Mass with me. All her life my mother has been a member of the Church of Christ. She has never been a literalist or a biblicist, and has allowed all her children the freedom to find God on their own. At the age of 18 I was received into the Episcopal Church and from that time onward, significant religious ceremonies were lonely affairs for me, because everyone had family there, except me.

Two of the most important days of the Church year, The Vigil of Easter, and the Second Sunday of Easter, I was able to have someone from my family with me, at a ceremony with meaning for me. So when she drove with me to Mass because I needed to be at Gethsemani today, it was a double blessing.

The Plethora of Ultra Catholics

I don't know why the Mother Angelica kind of Catholics are so vociferous. What is it they are protecting? To me it looks like a protecting of a set of rituals and religious observations.And they blame things on abortion and gays. Suddenly abortion and gays are something new? This is the cause of our modern problems? Just the same here is the Old Style Breviary for today.

Letting go of our fairy tales and adhering to our faith instead, that is the read problem for them. Faith is only what the magisterium says it is. In that way you are not challenged to wrestle with faith, you can just flip page 15 and there's the answer. There's your faith, all wrapped up in a set of answers without any other possibility.

Just because an easy answer is available does not mean that it is in truth, the right answer! God does not change, we change, so why is it that as we change (evolution, big bang, whatever) we blame that very advancement of human understanding on an attempt to abandon God (Who gave us our brains, and did not lay out the full blueprint of the Universe saying "here is it unto ye. This is how I did it.")

I am thankful for the Second Vatican Council, for it did shine light of Christ into a church where the hierarchy meant more than the holy people of Christ; where getting back at the French or the Protestants or the scientists was more important that anything else.

The church is made up of human beings and as such will always be imperfect. People always need something to argue about, and for Catholics it's liberal/conservative. I am liberal, and you go right ahead and be you.! If the love of Christ is central in our hearts, the rest does not matter.

Being at Low Points with Faith

I'm sure we have all experienced it, that day we'd have been better off to spend in bed. Sometimes that might be the best thing to do. I am having a rough time staying on top of the Sea of Klonopin, but I'm handling it. What does get me down is how I'm almost worthless doing things. My coordination has not fully returned so putting things together doesn't work. Sometimes my typing is so bad I have to start all over again.

Then again, there are just periods in every persons life where they just be blue. The Klonopin helps me see that just being blue isn't a precursor of the end of the world. Before I would have dreaded falling into a deep depression, but now I know it's just a passing phase. Pass on please.

Also, I am almost worthless at prayer. The psalms put me to sleep, and my attention struggles to follow the words. It doesn't feel worthless to pray, just that right now I'd be a seriously bad prayer leader. I meant it's Easter week and where are my usual liturgical offerings?

Let's fix that

Where have You hidden Yourself,

And abandoned me to my sorrow, O my Beloved!

You have fled like the hart,

Having wounded me.

I ran after You, crying; but You were gone.

During the Chanting

During the chanting of the Passion Gospel on Holy Thursday, they came to the section where the solider thrusts his lance into the side of Jesus. I could almost feel a twinge in my side at that moment, so keen was my sense to the thought of how that spear went up into the heart. And then I was reminded of how in William of St. Thierry's meditation, he tries to stick his finger up into that wound so he can plunge right into Jesus heart.

In William's meditation, a voice says, "Dogs, outside." And so he hurries from the wound to embrace God's hand.

Isn't that shocking? Dogs outside! When I first read it the I had to close the book because of surprise. Of course, what he was doing in that meditation was using a sinful hand to put into the all pure wound that leads to the Heart of Christ.

William does not identify the voice as the voice of God, or even of an angel. All he said was, "a voice." In the fully developed theology of the Sacred Heart, the wound is the entrance to the heart. Many meditations encourage you to imagine your way up the path of the spear into the heart.

Perhaps Abbot William of St. Thierry heard his own voice, the voice of his awareness of sin and guilt. We modern people know all about those voices of sin and guilt.

Tuesday in the Octave of Easter

I do love these Octaves, or eight days each supporting the feast at the heart of the Octave. You know I can't get much further in a blog entry without referencing my favorite sites, Old Style Breviary for today. That piece of art could either be the Lord's Supper, or it could be a fanciful representation of Jesus after the Road to Emmaus. Now with equal heart we turn to New Style Breviary for today.

The day's blog post doesn't seem to be started until those two sites are listed. During my brief sojourn at the Google-Pages version of Gethsemani Reflections, I took up two themes, the Sacred Heart, and the other as the Calendar/Lectionary. I see no reason to not continue those themes now that Gethsemani Refections is safely back home.

It is a dream of mine to compile a prayer book, complete with lectionary. Of course, this isn't meant for official Vatican approval use, it's meant for me and others like me. I'm not announcing the intention of beginning that project, but anyone who wants to do something like that needs to know how to deal with the lectionary and the calendar.

21. The Easter Vigil, during the holy night when Christ rose from the dead, ranks as the "the mother of all vigils." [11] Keeping watch, the Church awaits Christ's resurrection and celebrates it in the sacraments. Accordingly, the entire celebration of this vigil should take place at night, that is, should either begin after nightfall or end before the dawn of Sunday.

That comes from always useful The Catholic Liturgy Library. They are a valuable resource. The quote came from The General Norms for the Liturgical Year and the Calednar. Having this kind of information freely available on the internet is a joy to me, seventy five years ago I would have to own the book, or copy it by hand.

Now anyone is able to access the Fathers of the Church, and any version of the Bible they could imagine. St. Thomas Aquinas can be found, in full, at a number of sites. Check out this doozy, the secret Vatican archives. That site is cool because it lets you examine the documents closely, with up to date web technology.

I guess all this means that I'm back to discussing Calendars and Lectionaries.

Two Holy Week at Gethseamni

I was blessed to have friends who drove me to Holy Thursday and Good Friday services. My thanks to the Dittmans for their kindness.

Because it is Monday in Easter Week. We need to pay special attention to Old Style Breviary, and Universalis, and then talk about it. In an interesting way it ties into the Vigil of Easter I attended at St. Vincents at Nazareth. Just as the old style breviary is bringing to the modern day the gems of the liturgical past of the Roman Catholic Church, so to is Universalis bringing forward the gems of the Reform.

Gethsemani and holy week with Trappists, and then an Easter Vigil with Sisters of Charity! Wow, what a difference in style. The Cistercians are more of the old style breviary, yet up to date. The Sisters of Charity were the church of the Reform of Vatican II, in the way that Universalis is the new church.

I know that there is conflict in parts of the church about liturgy and how it ought to be done, and accusations of heresy and every kind of sinful thing that St.Paul spoke most stringently about. I could list site after site and multiple blogs condemning to hell one side or the other.

It's the Liturgy, the Holy Language we use to speak as a community to God.

The Wars of Religion are over. France fought them for 64 years people! The Danes invaded Iceland and put the Catholics to the sword. Will we shame ourselves again in front of the world by wrenching apart our common faith in Jesus Christ for the sake of words that most people don't even bother to utter!

Why cannot both Old Style Breviary and Universalis be both active representations of the riches that make up the Roman Catholic liturgy? Why must it be one or the other? What is one without the other might be a better question? The Trappists showed me glory with revised chants, that are older than we dare think, and worship in a style that is nothing short of heavenly. The Sisters of Charity showed me a glory of the modern church, the church of the Gather Hymnal. Faith makes up the worship, not a liturgy

As Catholics we are captive to the voices that shout conservatism and to the voices that shout liberalism. Both are just -isms. Both hide. You see, the only reality that should concern us in our life in Christ is that we live that life as if Christ were our mate! Our life partner! If Christ is not a life partner then all we have to talk about is how we speak in church. And certainly to abuse those who prefer Mass to be one way while we prefer Mass in another.

For instance. I dislike Mass express. If you can't take a breath safely in the Our Father, then things are going too fast. Mass express is in my estimation just barely qualifies for intention to say Mass. So I avoid them, I don't go and say you people are wrong. I don't write letters to the Bishop. No, I simply move along to another daily mass location.

So, my two services at Gethsemani and one at St. Vincent's, have given me a wider view of the RCC which I joined of my own free will. I do not regret it. But I am not blind to it's cosmic silliness in its earthly manifestations from time to time.

Holy Saturday

This morning in the Office of Readings I came upon a piece of writing I'd never encountered before. It made an impression on me. Is this the Harrowing of Hell we've heard about? Here it is:

The Lord's descent into hell

"What is happening? Today there is a great silence over the earth, a great silence, and stillness, a great silence because the King sleeps; the earth was in terror and was still, because God slept in the flesh and raised up those who were sleeping from the ages. God has died in the flesh, and the underworld has trembled.

Truly he goes to seek out our first parent like a lost sheep; he wishes to visit those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death. He goes to free the prisoner Adam and his fellow-prisoner Eve from their pains, he who is God, and Adam's son.

The Lord goes in to them holding his victorious weapon, his cross. When Adam, the first created man, sees him, he strikes his breast in terror and calls out to all: 'My Lord be with you all.' And Christ in reply says to Adam: ‘And with your spirit.’ And grasping his hand he raises him up, saying: ‘Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give you light.

‘I am your God, who for your sake became your son, who for you and your descendants now speak and command with authority those in prison: Come forth, and those in darkness: Have light, and those who sleep: Rise.

‘I command you: Awake, sleeper, I have not made you to be held a prisoner in the underworld. Arise from the dead; I am the life of the dead. Arise, O man, work of my hands, arise, you who were fashioned in my image. Rise, let us go hence; for you in me and I in you, together we are one undivided person.

‘For you, I your God became your son; for you, I the Master took on your form; that of slave; for you, I who am above the heavens came on earth and under the earth; for you, man, I became as a man without help, free among the dead; for you, who left a garden, I was handed over to Jews from a garden and crucified in a garden.

‘Look at the spittle on my face, which I received because of you, in order to restore you to that first divine inbreathing at creation. See the blows on my cheeks, which I accepted in order to refashion your distorted form to my own image.

'See the scourging of my back, which I accepted in order to disperse the load of your sins which was laid upon your back. See my hands nailed to the tree for a good purpose, for you, who stretched out your hand to the tree for an evil one.

`I slept on the cross and a sword pierced my side, for you, who slept in paradise and brought forth Eve from your side. My side healed the pain of your side; my sleep will release you from your sleep in Hades; my sword has checked the sword which was turned against you.

‘But arise, let us go hence. The enemy brought you out of the land of paradise; I will reinstate you, no longer in paradise, but on the throne of heaven. I denied you the tree of life, which was a figure, but now I myself am united to you, I who am life. I posted the cherubim to guard you as they would slaves; now I make the cherubim worship you as they would God.

"The cherubim throne has been prepared, the bearers are ready and waiting, the bridal chamber is in order, the food is provided, the everlasting houses and rooms are in readiness; the treasures of good things have been opened; the kingdom of heaven has been prepared before the ages."

A reading from an ancient homily for Holy Saturday

Good Friday, and Klonopin 9

Yesterday's trip to the monastery for the Holy Thursday Liturgy was wonderful. A friend drove me, so I didn't have to risk driving while still adjusting to Klonopin. I am happy to report that I believe that I can start driving again today!

As I was saying the Office Of Readings this morning I realized that by remembering the agonies Jesus went through, we in some way share them with him. No, I won't be nailed to a tree today, and no one will be wearing a crown of thorns, but just like a person who is suffering in the body, it is some comfort to know that they are not alone, that others are nearby, loving them and praying for them.

It's easy during the Triduum to assume that the God part of Jesus kept him safe. Well, the psalms for this morning make it abundantly clear that it was not the case. If it's just God-Being walking through the passion then there is no passion. The passion comes because the human Jesus had to go through it. We don't even know if he was sure that his own resurrection was come? After all, his last word were practically, "why have you forsaken me?" If that is not a cry on the edge of losing faith, I don't know what is.

So we suffer through this with Jesus. On Sunday the resurrected Christ will appear, until then it's just a single man, with fears, and bowels loosened by terror, yet still going through wtih it because of his faith.

Holy Thursday and 8th Klonopin Day

I used the same Blog title over at Typepad. The truth is both items have to merge in me today without seams The very holiness of Holy Thursday is such that all believing Christians should turn their minds to the meaning of this day, and nothing else. Of course, that isn't going to happen.

I can though, because as I adjust to Klonopin, I understand that the silent still parts of my soul are indeed still here, and still receptive to the divine. Noise covered those parts for decades, but now the Klonopin has removed the noise, and I am able to sense them again.

I urge you to read this page of Lamentations. It is said during the morning office, sometimes in parishes later int he day, but it is always used on this day. You will notice that I chose the Contemporary English Version, because it is more pointed for us. I find desolation the verses.

On Breviary.net these repsonses follow verses 1-5

R. On the mount of Olives he prayed to the Father : Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me : * The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.
V. Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation.
R. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.

Verses 6-9 are followed by these.

R. My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death ; tarry ye here, and watch with me : yet a little while and ye shall see the great multitude close me in : * And ye shall flee, but I shall go hence to be sacrificed for you.
V. Behold, the hour is at hand, and the Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners.
R. And ye shall flee, but I shall go hence to be sacrificed for you.

Now we come to the final phase, verses 10-14

R. Behold when we shall see him, he hath no form nor comeliness : there is no beauty in him ; this is he which hath borne our griefs and carried away our sorrows ; but he was wounded for our transgressions, * And with his stripes we are healed.
V. Surely he hath borne our griefs and carried our sorrows.
R. And with his stripes we are healed.
R. Behold when we shall see him, he hath no form nor comeliness : there is no beauty in him ; this is he which hath borne our griefs and carried away our sorrows ; but he was wounded for our transgressions, * And with his stripes we are healed.

I offer these reponsories for those who may not encounter them today, or ever. The are guides to further meditation. Let us use them as such.

Wednesday in Holy Week of Fog

Steve's head is still party foggy with Klonopin action, but awake enough to blog about Holy Week. There were more Holy Week's in my life than not, where I worked double time for he entire week. If you attend Holy Week services they are lovely. If you are the one putting those services together, you long for the day of just going to church, and not doing church.

Organists and Masters of Ceremonies are the two people in a worship service which work the hardest, and get the least out of the rite. Do you suppose that the organist just before beginning a hymn has been lost in holy contemplation? No, there's been flipping pages, making sure the choir is paying attention, keeping an eye on the priest because who knows what they are liable to do at any moment.

The point here is that workers are busy behind the scene of our lovely Holy Week liturgies. We go and marvel and how lovely it was, or how meaningful. We should also take a moment to think of the planning that went into the service so you could say it was meaningful. For those who prepare and labor for those services, they have rendered their sacrifice of praise.

I am striving to make it to the 430pm at the monastery tomorrow afternoon. I particularly love Holy Week at Gethsemani. The possibility of me driving is out of the question. Perhaps an angel will show up and I'll ride in their car.

Attending these liturgies is a sacrifice of praise. Of all the sacrifices we hear of, the one that baffles me most is the sacrifice of praise. How does one sacrifice praise. Well, you do it by first of all deciding that you will go to the service, and some others deciding that the will help get the service put together, and others to make music, and others to prepare Homilies.

So I shall go, confused as I am in a Klonopin muddle, and still participate my sacrifice of praise to my Great and Holy God.

Holy Week

Because of Klonopin I will not be able to participate very often at the Abbey this week. I cannot be trusted to drive. However, I will try to make Thursday and Friday if someone will give me a ride.

For The Vigil, I think I will go to St. Vincent over in Nazareth. 7PM on Thursday, 3PM on Friday, and 7PM on Saturday. My intention is to make the Thursday and Friday at Gethsemani, but we shall see. Last year I intended to spend all of Holy Week in the Gethsemani guesthouse, but that didn't turn out, so here I am on Klonopin, and looking at Holy Week with the Holy Sisters.

Over at my other blog I wrote about how Klonopin is interacting in place within me that I consider Holy. I know this sounds blonky, and it probably is, but when I sit down to say my prayers the Klonopin brings a drowsiness over me. Or when the psalm is being said, I get caught in an image and can go no further. Neither of those things are serious of themselves, but when I'm not taking this medication they are only noticed, and acted upon.

There Klonopin interacts with my spirit. If we are human by nature of body and soul, then there must be nodes where they touch. I believe that in prayer those nodes are activated. But never in my fifty years of life has a drug been unexpectedly present in that interaction, making my mental chatter be silent.

What that tells me is that the miraculous nature of human brains at work, and the biochemicals they produce, cannot be described and are merely to be marveled at. This medicine interacting with me in the deepest levels of my being, down beyond choice. Yes, there is a place beneath even your choice, and that is where this drug has gone. I place it all in the hands of God Almighty, whom I worship and adore with all my heart, my sould and my mind.

Do Major Medications Affect The Spiritual Life

How could they not? A drug can produce in a person what they would swear was an experience of god and nothing will ever convince them otherwise. I once visited a friend in a Psychiatric hospital because he had done so much LSD that he told me the Virgin Mary was acid itself. That by taking acid I could experience The Virgin Mary. He told me all this with perfect confidence and in a low voice. As if it were too important to be overheard.

I left the hospital that day numb with pain for my friend, and numb at the suggesting that a drug could be holy. I was never against trying out various illegal substances, but never LSD, or any hallucinogenic drugs. So to my thinking, there is no holiness in any drug.

Klonopin came along in my life when I was about 35 years old, and on the verge of a total meltdown. At the time I just experienced the firs two weeks by sleeping. This time I am experiencing the onset of the drug in detail. Already I can say that when I sit down to pray (which often ends with me falling asleep because it is a sedative after all) that my mind is much more quiet. My walking can be a bit off to one side, and my sense of humor has moved into another land where no one else exists.

So, I wait with eager expectation what today will bring!

I don't see many Latin Masses around here

There was a lot of hoo haa over the pope making it easier for people who wanted a Latin Mass to do it. The press made it appear like a return to the pre Vatican II days. Not all things pre-Vatican II are bad. Why else would I include a link to Breviary.net? Because I don't believe in throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

But where are those latin masses we were told to expect? Most parishes are not having Latin masses because no one is asking for them. While I cannot pretend to know what this means, I do believe it points to a need which the Latin Mass people also see.

Catholicism has a root in its communal rituals, rosaries, solemn exposition and benediction of the Sacrament. Novenas and purposeful sacrifices. They beauty and mystery of Catholic devotional practices. Those were dropped without a second thought after the Council. It as no longer good practice. Well, turns out they were wrong about that. People need the comfort of coming together to recite the rosary, or walk the stations of the cross.

In a way what more old piety can be found than the Latin Mass? But that's not really the answer because it has beome quite foreign to us. Also, it is so theatrical it might as well have their own award show. Anything that is overdone is effete, in the decadent sense of the word.

Now, we have a Novum Ordo that is in Latin, and can be celebrated, and since we all know the mass responses anyway, learning them in Latin wouldn't be any trouble. That sort of Latin Mass would be fun, perhaps even transcendent
but I would feel that using a language not my own, or anyone around me, is being overly precious and showy.

So let's have more Forty Hours Devotions, and Rosaries, and Morning Prayer and Evening Prayer in our Churches, and nmot make it the clergies responsibility.

Palm Sunday and Me Not at Church

The truth of Klonopin is as you grow used to it, you learn to cool your jets, and wait until the blizzard of drug has reached normal level. In the meantime I am missing Palm Sunday, which is one of the major Liturgies of the year. The opener of Holy Week, procession of palms, and all that good music that goes with it...I miss out this year.

It's sound judgment to not be there, because I'm wobbly on my feet, and likely to get lost on some thought and wander off. Or sing out Amen when I agree with something. I did say the Office of Readings for today, and found it illuminating. For the past few days the OOR has been working through Hebrews. Today is Hebrews 10:1-18 Let's take a look.

I think the most important passage is this

‘Sacrifices and offerings you have not desired,
but a body you have prepared for me;
in burnt-offerings and sin-offerings
you have taken no pleasure.
Then I said, “See, God, I have come to do your will, O God”

Isn't that exactly what Jesus is preparing to offer to God? The reading goes on to say there is no priest like Jesus. I found that interesting on the day that his passion began, it's almost a paradigm for interpretation.

Holy week means a lot to me because it is the time we can most easily insert ourselves between the real and mundane, and into the eternity of NOW when the passion happened. We can enter into symbolic time. That's not understood by the majority of people. But symbolic time is the only way to really understand and participate in all Liturgy. In that light let's look at the second OOR reading. This reading was put on the internet by Dr. Marcellino D'Ambrosio.

"Let us go together to meet Christ on the Mount of Olives." Right from the start St. Andrew of Crete is inviting us to move into that symbolic space where we may "accompany him as he hastens toward his passion." So, odd as it sounds, I draw comfort from those phrases as they enable me to worship on Palm Sunday even though I don't dare drive.

Starting a New Medication is Interesting

Three days ago I began to take Klonopin, a Benzodiazapin that is a rather powerful drug, one that will put anxiety right out of your body. Needless to say this is a drug that they control very wisely. The reason I have it is that last time I took it, and got past the two weeks of lala land, I got into college.

Now I wrote about this over at typepad, so why am I writing about it here too? Because it's impacting my spiritual life. When I had the serious anxiety I always said my prayers, but as I acclimate to this new medicine, I simply can't keep up with them. All the same, I do not feel that I am leaving out my prayers. They are said, just without liturgy.

It is my dearest hope that as this medicine get to its right level, I can get a better understanding of where I am in the spiritual life. Who am I in LCG? what is LCG? Are we monks? Just what is this new life?

Steve

Anxious Writing

One of the things I've learned with blogging is how easy it is to build up a great deal of content in a relatively short amount of time. The fact of the matter is that I've opened another blog at Typepad, and have bought a domain name for The Anxiety Report.Com.

The reason I'm talking about that here at Gethsemani Reflections is because both the Typepad blog and theanxietyreport.com page, are results of my spiritual growth. They both flow out of a sense of ministry that has developed as a result of my association with Gethsemani Abbey. In my case it is also a solitary pursuit, maintaining these blogs and the web page.

The Lay Cistercians of Gethsemani provides an excellent way to understand why this ministry is developing. I am not a monk, will almost certainly not become a monk. As a lay person I need work for money, and the physical needs of life. I also need a spiritual vocation, one that connects me to the Abbey, and to those whom I encounter. I am coming to think of myself as a person who brings the charism of the Abbey into the secular world. All associates of Cistercian Abbeys bear the same mission, or so I believe.

So, anxiety disorders are something I know a lot about. A lifetime of hell with my generalized anxiety disorder, which produces four day attacks, has created in me a passion for helping other people deal with life and anxiety disorders.

Prayer Books are Expensive

One thing about becoming a Catholic is the price of the prayer books. The Episcopal Church has the Prayerbook, and it runs about a hundred bucks, but that also has a hymnal in it, and all the indexes. On the other hand, the Catholic Church has a four volume set called Liturgy of the Hours, that runs around $148.00. So far I own two of the four volumes, Advent, and Lent/Easter. The day after Pentecost we go to Vol. III, weeks 1 - 18 of Ordinary Time. Of course it will cost nearly $40.00 to buy.

Why do I buy them?

Because I love the Office of Readings (OOR). Christian Prayer is one volume Morning and Evening Prayer. The psalms for the OOR are listed, but only a few of the readings. That makes it hard to put together a Vigils of ones own. You see, if you take the OOR and only do the first reading, after that do the psalms of Morning Prayer (MP), the second reading from OOR, and then complete MP with responsory, canticles, etc..

Future Directions?

It would be possible to put together my own selections for OOR/Vigils, but wow at the work of doing that. It would be a book. I should act upon the understanding that if I am interested in a book like that, then others must be, as well. That sort of thing could be self published perhaps?

If anyone has thoughts, let me know.

A New Approach to Daily Mass

Mass Readings

Old Style

I've blogged before about the distance to Gethsemani and back, how it is a thirty mile round trip, and for a daily mass, that's too much gasoline. I love Gethsemani, and nothing has changed, except that I cannot feasibly drive back and forth every day. So, I'm going to Nazareth instead. That's more or less across the road from me, and to make a 10:50am Mass, there is no need to leave home until twenty-till.

The Sisters of Charity of Nazareth have a lovely campus in Bardstown. Their charism is totally different from the monks at Gethsemani, yet somehow sitting in silence in that church, with those sometimes very elderly nuns, I feel the same level of holiness present in that place, as I do at Gethsemani.

One Holy Spirit, and many gifts. Worshiping with the sisters has helped me draw even more understanding of what the Lay Cistercian life is all about for me. By simply driving a little over a mile, I am able to worship where I am, and not feel that I have to go somewhere else. That doesn't sound anywhere near as important as I know it is. It is the truth: I don't have to prove something by always going to Gethsemani, it is alright to go to Mass at Nazareth. It is not a rejection of my ties to the Abbey of Gethsemani.

Isn't it funny how I complicate things needlessly? Was the KISS rule meant for me especially? haha.

Wow, I think I've Figure It Out

Boy am I glad to finally work out how to make my personal domain name bring you to this site on blogger. I really missed the ease and convenience of blogger.com. The only reason I bought the domain in the first place was to have an address easier to remember. So, yea!

As I mentioned at my anxiety blog I'm working non stop on The Anxiety Report.com. However, Gethsemanireflections will continue to be my spiritual reflection, and journal.