Stewardship is a Big Problem

Well here we are at the 14th Sunday of the Year also known as 8th Sunday after Pentecost. Not much difference is there between 14th and 8th? Both are equally boring. Oh well, I guess that's why they call it Ordinary Time.

Also, it's the first Sunday of the month, I have enough money to afford a trip to the monastery for Mass, but our big picnic is next week, so do I dare drive 31 mile round trip twice in one month? Every since I heard that the North Pole is all but melted away, I've been very careful where I drive and why I drive. I am in a position to reduce my carbon footprint, and am lucky to be in that position.

Here's the problem. I have two issues with this. First, I like the idea of the Arctic as a frozen wasteland. Second, the monks at Gethsemani could give a flying care whether or not I'm at mass. The nuns at Nazareth like for me to be at mass there. That doesn't reduce any of my devotion to Cistercian spirituality, or the Lay Cistercains of Gethsemani, it does affect my use of a quarter tank of gas to drive 31 miles round trip to attend a mass where maybe one person actually cares whether I'm there or not, or drive one mile and be welcomed by five or six who really do care whether I am there or not.

Maybe in my old age, I am 50 after all, I am discovering that acceptance into a group has something to say for itself. I feel the two sides of my spirituality meet when I attend both religious communities for Mass. The deciding factor is LCG meets next week, not this week, so why do I feel so guilty for not going to Gethsemani this morning? It must have something to do with a promise I made to myself, that even now I don't remember making, but have learned that sometimes I do that -- make promises to myself without my really being aware of it.

No matter! I bring so little money into this household that I refuse to use up gas twice a month to drive to a place where no one cares I am there, when I can drive across the street to a place where many people care I am there. The thing I've learned in the Lay Cistercian charism is that the Charism comes from the monks and nuns, and not that we have to at the monastery to get it. I am still contemplative. I am still more of a hermit than not. I still like to go to church somewhere that those who are there care whether or not I am there.