1. Stopped smoking cigarettes.
2. Stopped smoking weed, which was my only defense against anxiety attacks which raped my body and psyche four days out of every two weeks.
3. Stopped a toxic relationship.
4. Gave a long time, well loved friend an ultimatum, "so long as crack is in your life, I am not."
5. Got really serious about renunciations, and guarding my thoughts.
6. Committed myself to writing a reflection on the rule, every day.
And what do I get?
1. Nights that are lonely and difficult like nothing I've faced before.
2. Enough grace to handle the nights.
3. Some prophetic dreams with messages for other people.
4. Some very confusing and horrible dreams.
5. A mission from God to pray for those on the verge of suicide.
6. The grace to continue my long conversion.
Is it worth it? Yes.
‘My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.’ So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities for the sake of Christ; for whenever I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12
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