Balcony

It is interesting for me to sit up in the balcony, cut off from the rest of the congregation; if you can call the guests and monks a congregation. The lady hermit, when she is at the monastery, sits in the balcony. There is a type solitude one finds by sitting there that is not readily available by sitting with others who are also at mass.

By choosing to sit in the balcony I cause to occur a solitude that is self-imposed, and very much naked before God. There are times I simply need to kneel for most of the liturgy, and there are times that I need to sit quietly, composed. When I choose to sit with someone during mass, then I am present to them spiritually. No matter how it's looked at, if I sit with other people, then my spirit is mixing freely with theirs. If I sit alone, in as much solitude as can be got, then there is a chance that my spirit will mix more freely with God! Could that be the driving force of solitary life?

A Little Purcell After Mass

First, mass at Gethsemani, then home to the writing spot for some Henry Purcell, and then create the daily flow of words. There are two pieces by Purcell I particularly like: Rejoice in the Lord, Always and Hosanna to the Highest. Someday I will find out who wrote the text for Hosanna to the Highest, because it is so moving.

In the mass we encounter Christ in the most intimate physical way, we receive him into our bodies. When we hear music that arouses the God within us, we are most receptive to prayer. Not all music has this affect on us, only specific pieces that reach out from the aural sphere, and through our nervous system into our emotions. Those pieces of music are given to us by grace. If music moves you to worship God, then let the process of the music pray within you.

Mass in the Balcony

I went to mass this morning, as is my wont to do, and for a change sat in the balcony. It's an entirely different experience up there. The only people there today were the lady hermit, a lady retreatant, and me. Down in the church the plastic chairs were nearly full. A lot of people are there this week. Or, perhaps I should say that the people on retreat this week are people who get up early and go to mass.

Solitary tendencies in me make me aware of the risks and benefits of more closely aligning myself with God, in a life more withdrawn from the world. As that call works its way through it kicks up, so to speak, all the issues that stand between me and a full love of God. The realization that I love some physical thing or action, more than I love God. When occasion to sin rises it is always based in the physical world. So every sin I commit is based upon loving creation more than the creator.

That is disordered, and I do not believe I am the only person who suffers from that disorder. I wish to explore further in the hermitic life. That article will list the personality traits needed for true solitary life. I am none of those things, but that hasn't stopped this call to look further into the solitary life.

This is confusing, how can I be called into something for which I have not one whit of personality trait to succeed? As a Christian I can only say that it is from God that grace must flow to bring this to completion in me.

My Absence

To the few people that keep up with my blog I must seem to drop off the face of the earth for a few days at a time. When I got serious about blogging, I did it every day just to get into the habit. Now that I have the habit I'm reluctant to blog unless I have something interesting or important to say. To continue saying that this blog serves as my spiritual journal simply no longer works for me I am ever more hesitant to put before public eyes the inner life of my soul on a daily basis.

Recently I was asked to write a brochure for the Lay Cistercians of Gethsemani to be put in the guesthouse library at the Abbey. You can imagine how flattering that was, and how seriously I took the task. The difference between writing a brochure to contain all the benefits you will receive from "X" product, and the entirely subjective experience of a religious call, is too vast for comparison.

Also, I've undertaken the work of providing a small section for the LCG newsletter, looking into the foundation documents of the Cistercian Order, and what the nature of the documents tell about the men who wrote them. The project is an going series of articles about the significance of these documents for the modern day Lay Cistercian. There is plenty. And, it can be told without being a boring trip down Dreary Lane.

l have spent a significant amount of time studying and reflecting on the documents. First, we'll tackle the Exordium Parvum, and then the Charter of Charity, finally, turn to the Exordium Cistercii. Then I suppose it would be on to the Exordium program written by Michael Casey, OCSO. The point is that I have undertaken this work to keep my word to my brother and sister Lay Cistercians, so that it all may be given to the glory of God.

I'm really excited to do this. May God bless my efforts.

St. Luke the Evangelist

Read this from the Old Style Breviary.

For Universalis, check the second reading.

St. Luke. What do you know of him? I know next to nothing about St. Luke other than he wrote a gospel and the Book of Acts. The Catholic Encyclopedia has an interesting article on him. It is well worth your time to read. The Biography is good.

I am taking today to be quiet, and hopefully, solitary. Peace be with you all.

St. Margaret Mary

St. Hedwig, Grand Princess of Poland also shares this day with Margaret Mary. I don't know anything about St. Hedwig, so I shall leave her alone this year. St. Margaret Mary is also someone I know very little about personally. Read that article and you'll know a bit more.

I do know that St. Margaret Mary fostered devotion to the Sacred Heart, created the Holy Hour. The most important lesson I think in today is devotion to the Sacred Heart. Having experience of infinite compassion in my own life I believe that is my door to the Sacred Heart. So today I am striving to fill my understanding, in each interaction I have, or project I undertake, so that the heart of infinite compassion might reach out to others.

St. Teresa of Avila, Doctor, Mystic, Patron

First things first, hold the Crtl key and click here. No, really, do it. Now let the music run as you read the post. By using other's music, and talent, I can celebrate the Solemnity of St. Teresa of Avila. Consider this music the subtext to today.

I found this quote from Teresa

"Those who truly love God are the contrite sinners, whom much is forgiven, and saints, since they both have the nature of a child. They are able to be amazed by the love of God; by the folly of His love for them."

Doesn't that just sum it all up? Think of Therese and the child connection. Clearly St. Therese knew her St. Teresa of Avila! One great Doctor of the Church instructs another. Teresa may still instruct us today. Her writings, which explicate in loving detail her path to God, reach out to touch people as they read, every day. It's true, each and every day someone encounters something in St. Teresa that makes them stop and fall down in their hearts before God.

I have a miserable cold today. St. Teresa said once, "Lord, if this is how you treat your friends, no wonder you have so few of them." How can I get too serious about my cold in the face of such a brightly-burning spirit? So, if I am instructed by Teresa, then others are too, today, in this present moment. Then, she is truly a great teacher, and Doctor of the Church!

First, a big thanks to Denis Dutton for his comment on yesterday's post. Since I consider ALDaily to be an internet icon, and it has been part of my morning routine for years, the comment on my blog is a high compliment. Thank you Mr. Dutton.

We are getting to that point in Ordinary Time where my patience begins to run out. Currently it is the 27th Week of Ordinary Time. An entirely new set of names for each Sunday of Ordinary time might be needed. I become worn out with the numbers.

Today's gospel

“When an unclean spirit goes out of someone,
it roams through arid regions searching for rest
but, finding none, it says,
‘I shall return to my home from which I came.’
But upon returning, it finds it swept clean and put in order.
Then it goes and brings back seven other spirits
more wicked than itself who move in and dwell there,
and the last condition of that man is worse than the first.”

That falls as the reading for Year C, Friday, 27th OT. Surely it says something more about today's theme for prayer than just Friday, 27th, OT, Year C. The response to the psalm at mass is "the Lord will judge the world with justice."

I've always found the gospel passage quoted above to be unsettling. Does it mean that demons can be driven out, and even if you clean up your inner house, they can still move back in, on a whim? Is there no safety?

That's not necessarily implied in the text. Notice how the demon comes back and moves in unchallenged. That implies the host wasn't guarding their heart. There is healing in Christ's love, but we all know how easy it is to turn away from that love and focus on something else.

Thursday Ramblings

There are two components to my morning, Google News, and Arts & Letters Daily. I am particularly enjoy aldaily because it is jam packed with interesting articles. Sure, there is plenty of atheism and enough conservative politics, but overall the content of the site is not to be missed. On the left sidebar is something called Nota Bene, a section that is updated daily.

I found this site. Who would have thought--other than a birdwatcher--that birds were so smart?

This article from the London Times is very interesting too. Real food for thought in that one.

St. Teresa of Avila's day is coming up. I keep her feast as a personal solemnity. More on her on the 15th.

Bl. Pope John XXIII

I am fairly certain that I need to pray for the canonization of Pope John XXIII. He was made a Blessed by John-Paul II, but not yet made a Saint. Pray for this. This exists in me as a need, and one that I cannot explain. Questions start jumping out at me: how do I know this, can you really talk to the dead, and why do I feel John XXIII in particular?

An epistemological problem: how do I know this? It's certainly not from any personal knowledge of mine, because I know next to nothing about him. I did read the encyclical Pacem in Terris and it impressed me, but not enough to feel that I should take on a campaign of prayer to have him raised to the ranks of the Saints. However, having read the encyclical it helped me decide to convert to RC. I decided that anyone who could write such a piece of work, was a good representation of what it was to be catholic.

In the end I can only attribute my selection of him as a patron because he has poked around at the edge of my consciousness for decades. Always smiling, and looking happy.

The problem of course is, he's dead, and how does one communicate with a person on the other side of death? Fr. James says you talk to them. That is both simple, and yet also astounding. On the one hand, it's easy enough to do to talk to someone, living or dead. On the other hand how often do any of us talk to the dead? And, do the dead answer?

That depends on what you define as dead. I think of dead as no longer in the flesh, the body. What is you, essentially you, is no longer in the flesh, and that is all the difference that exists. The essential you continues on in the life beyond death. To believe anything else is to deny our faith in Christ, his cross and resurrection.

It seems then that we may talk to the dead as a consistent part of our Christian faith. If the saints such as Francis, John of the Cross, Dominic, Bernard, etc., are to be prayed to, then so is all the faithful dead, to beseech them for their prayers. In the Litany of the Saints each saint we name turns their heavenly praises into heavenly prayers for us.

John XXIII comes to my mind often. Sometimes it's as if I can sense his presence. I can't say that for very many other saints. This is a subject almost too big for me, because it is about exploring my own deepest held believes. More on this theme tomorrow.

Not Only Valuable, Music is Prayer

All religious musicians say that they experience God in the music. This article makes me interested to hear these composers. For most of my life I have practiced a form of prayer where I turn off the lights, put myself into a state of receptive readiness, and let the miracle of The Art of Fugue, by Johann Sebastian Bach, work in me.

The intricacies of this masterpiece of musical thinking, if you let it, will lead you deep within yourself. The same God that inspired Bach, indeed gave us Bach, is also the one who speaks to you in The Art of Fugue. Open your heart to prayer and turn listening into Lectio.

St. Francis, the Shining Star

I dare you to think of living your life on the absolutely cutting edge of complete psychic meltdown, in order to give your life totally to God. When Francis responded radically to God, God responded radically to Francis. Francis had a special relationship with God.

Look very carefully at today's picture. Look at his eyes. Where is the saint looking, and at what? His stillness is absolute, he is rapt with God. And nothing human can break into that prayer.

When there had already been built many houses of Friars of his Order, he withdrew himself into a most secret place upon Mount Alverno, and began to fast for forty days in honour of the holy Archangel Michael. Upon the Feastday of the Exaltation of the Holy Cross, he saw a vision of a crucified Seraph, which left in his hands and feet holes with nails therein, and in his side a great wound. Lesson vi, Matins

A person who might be in such a state of prayer as this picture of Francis, is someone to whom angels will indeed visit, and wound with a wound of love.

Francis did what we all at some point want to do, throw it all off, and give ourself utterly to God, without thought for where you will eat, drink, sleep or wear. That is most radical, and chances are that you aren't that radical either. I'm certainly not. St. Francis is our witness, our guide, and our companion: we do not have to do as he did, he has done it best. He chose Joy even when he did not feel it.

R. This is he which did according to all that God commanded him ; and God said unto him : Enter thou into my rest : * For thee have I seen righteous before me among all people.
V. This is he which despised his life in this world, and is come unto an everlasting kingdom.
R. For thee have I seen righteous before me among all people.
V. Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost.
R. For thee have I seen righteous before me among all people.

Guardian Angels, One Day Late

What respect, what thankfulness, what trust, ought this word to work in thee! Respect for their presence, thankfulness for their kindness, trust in their safe-keeping. Walk carefully, as one with whom are Angels, as hath been laid in charge upon them, in all thy ways. In every lodging, in every nook, have reverence for thine Angel. Dare not to do in his presence what thou wouldst not dare to do in mine. Or dost thou doubt whether he be indeed present, because thou seest him not? What if thou heardest him? What if thou touchedst him? What if thou smelledst him? Behold, not by sight alone is the presence of things made manifest.

That comes from St. Bernard of Clairvaux. I took it from the old style Breviary.net. This is the responsory that goes with it. What is a responsory? According to the Catholic Encyclopedia says,

Responsory, or Respond, a series of verses and responses, usually taken from Holy Scripture and varying according to the feast or season. Responsories are of two kinds: those which occur in the Proper of the Mass, and those used in the Divine Office; each differing slightly both as to history and form.

And the responsory for today, in the fifth lesson of matins

R. The Angel of the Lord came down into the furnace together with Azariah and his fellows, and smote the flame of the fire out of the furnace ; * So that the fire touched them not at all, neither hurt them.
V. Blessed be their God, who sent his Angel, and delivered his servants that trusted in him.
R. So that the fire touched them not at all, neither hurt them.

Now, what is interesting here is how the three young men in the furnace were visited, and this responsory, by recalling that bit of text, has reminded and reassured us that God extends these guardians to us. So what we might wish to watch our actions for the sake of what Bernard says we should do, to learn to "walk carefully, as one with whom are Angels."

St. Therese of Liseux

Today is the Feast of St. Therese of Liseux. She is a favorite saint of mine. That was not always the case, because before I came to love her, she represented to me a simpering half-wit. And that the church which sainted her wasn't a bit better. Of course, I now have a great devotion to St. Therese. I don't refer to her as the Little Flower, because that's silly in my opinion. A great Doctor of the Church Universal should never be referred to as little anything.

Yes, she was humble. Yes, she was not well. Yes to any number of things she was that could be said to represent littleness. But! a great resounding 'No' to calling the Doctor who taught us that

When I had looked upon the mystical body of the Church, I recognised myself in none of the members which St. Paul described . . . I knew that the Church had a body composed of various members, but in this body the necessary and more noble member was not lacking; I knew that the Church had a heart and that such a heart appeared to be aflame with love... [and] that if this love were extinguished, the apostles would have proclaimed the Gospel no longer,
the martyrs would have shed their blood no more.
I saw and realized that love sets off the bounds of all vocations,
that love is everything,
that this same love embraces every time and every place.
In one word, that love is everlasting.
Then, nearly ecstatic with the supreme joy in my soul, I proclaimed: O Jesus, my love, at last I have found my calling: my call is love. Certainly I have found my place in the Church, and you gave me that very place, my God. In the heart of the Church, my mother, I will be love, and thus I will be all things, as my desire finds its direction.

Can you cry out to Christ "my call is love" because you lived it? If you cannot, and I would go so far as to say nearly none of us could say it, then also no one should call this great Doctor of the Church, a little anything.