Tempestuous Inner States...

...meet Christ. I've come to the understanding that there is nothing left for this "desolation/temptation" to do in its own defense except to make me feel as if I'm being torn apart. The truth is, I am not being torn apart. The feeling is present, yes, and it does make me uncomfortable, but it has nothing whatsoever to do with what I know by faith. For the first time ever, I'm seeing how he mechanisms of sin/evil/self-defeat actually work. It is insidious because of the reasonableness of it. Rather like a heresy can seem so reasonable, and still be so wrong.

But, with Christ, I am free from allowing my faith decisions to rest upon how I feel. Or even upon thoughts, self recriminations, or any other diversion. William of St. Thierry gave me the most wonderful image of running to hide behind the Father's hand, and that is exactly what I am doing. It is uplifting to be free of the fear that I might act on my on, without Christ, and then destroy all the good that has come, and is to come.