Wednesday of Easter 2

I went to visit Fr. C. Monday, at Holy Trinity. It was our first meeting to determine how we could best lay out a path of study for my instruction in the Roman Catholic Church. He is a very kind man, and a very intelligent man. It should be interesting.

What was also interesting was when I got home and started freaking out thinking 'what on earth am I doing? Catholic?'

And then every negative thing that does indeed bother me about the RC came rushing to mind. However, it was clear from the start that the emotional response I was having did not match the objections. Clearly something else was operating in the question. I recently read a book about the discernment of spirits according to the Ignatian method. The rule about spiritual desolation had said that when in spiritual desolation do not change anything that you had begun while in spiritual consolation. Make no changes.

Okay, so that was a deeply comforting thing to know when I needed it the very most. What is creepy is I've never really studied St. Ignatius rules for spiritual discernment. Two weeks ago I buy a book on the subject for the first time. Did that happen so that when the fear/upset/attack of Monday afternoon came, I would have the tools to withstand it?

I really botched Monday night's Vespers , so deep was my distraction. I went to bed kinda sorrowful. Tuesday I was up in time to read Vigils here at home. Saying the psalms slowly really helps me stay on task in private Liturgy. The psalms are full of a kind of oil that is sometimes for soothing, and sometimes for frying. Is any other source of lectio richer, with the exception of the gospels? And, where did this tradition come from, the using of psalms in this way? Why, of course, it came through the tradition of monasticism. Monasticism is part of ancient Christianity. There are two churches of ancient origin. Eastern Orthodox, and Roman Catholic. The eastern church froze in about the 5th Century, and the Roman in about the 12th.

Can any better be said for Protestantism? There is not unity amongst the Protestants either. Everything about the Reformation had its root, in one way or another, in the Roman Catholic Church. And yes, the history of said RC is not pure. Neither is the history of the Protestants either! The history of Tudor England points that out in lurid, and spectacular bloodletting. Let's not even discuss the slaughtering of Jews that has been the sport of European and Slavic Christianity since Jesus crucifixion. John Paul II was a great man who apologized for that very thing. Or the Wars of Religion in France. Notice the plural of war.

When I was younger I read a biography of Pope John XXIII. I liked him a great deal, his nerve, his intellect, and his obvious faith; yesterday I started reading his Encyclicals and found this.

In the first place we notice a progressive improvement in the economic and social condition of working men. They began by claiming their rights principally in the economic and social spheres, and then proceeded to lay claim to their political rights as well. Finally, they have turned their attention to acquiring the more cultural benefits of society.

Today, therefore, working men all over the world are loud in their demands that they shall in no circumstances be subjected to arbitrary treatment, as though devoid of intelligence and freedom. They insist on being treated as human beings, with a share in every sector of human society: in the socio-economic sphere, in government, and in the realm of learning and culture.

Secondly, the part that women are now playing in political life is everywhere evident. This is a development that is perhaps of swifter growth among Christian nations, but it is also happening extensively, if more slowly, among nations that are heirs to different traditions and imbued with a different culture. Women are gaining an increasing awareness of their natural dignity. Far from being content with a purely passive role or allowing themselves to be regarded as a kind of instrument, they are demanding both in domestic and in public life the rights and duties which belong to them as human persons.

That was written in 1963. Those are words I can stand behind, uttered by a Pope whose memory I respect. It gave me a measure of peace. The life at the Abbey also bears witness to the goodness of this new way of seeing the Roman Catholic Church. It's a long process, I can see that now. I say that because yesterday I bought a copy of the Catechism. Good grief! What a formal, legal style document the thickness of a decent cities white pages. But, I shall forge my way through it. Fr. C wants me to mark it up, and I intend to do just that.

If any should read this, please pray for me.