Desolations

Spiritual desolation is harsh. All manner of troubling thoughts provoke the mind, each one suggests an idea to discredit faith. The cold light of Reason Alone begins to sound over God Alone. I say sound over God Alone because God Alone can still be heard. Perhaps reason is the counter balance to disordered faith? Reason points to the spots in my faith where I have some expectation of God to make things easy. Taking a step closer to God always involves actions that are hard and/or frightening. Our trust is confronted, we are asked "how serious are you? Will you step out over the abyss of faith? Will you trust the Lord to save you?"

There is the moment that Reason Alone steps in say, "why bother with any of this? It's all just your imagination. Get serious and face reality as it is."

Again I can only say, "taking a step closer to God always involves actions that are hard and/or frightening." Now spiritual desolation starts up. I want, need, desire, something solid from Heaven. I forget that Heaven does not function strictly to meet my every request like some kind of Divine warehouse where you can order this grace, or that.

The graces. The gifts. The desolation. All are from God. St. Paul assures us in Romans that no matter what, we have the victory.

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

So, even in desolation and fearful trusting, as I step out into that abyss of faith, I know that if I only hold on, I will prevail.