Good Heavens, I'm old.

Old is a state of mind, a condition of body, and an attitude. We are in control of at least one of the three, from time to time. State of mind for some people is not something they can control. Others have difficulty with the body, again, something like leukemia, that they can do not control. Attitude, unless afflicted in some way, is entirely in our control.

My body is 49 years old, but that part of me that I'm used to calling me is about the same age as I've always been. Yes, that's a confused statement. Yet, it does explain that sense of being surprised at our own age, because we don't feel any older; in our minds, our hearts, what have you. That I call the presence of self. There have been times in my life when that sense of me-ness got buried under the rubble of whatever drama du jour was going on at the time. And that, my friends, is where mindfulness of God can save the day.

Those times of separation from God--always a self imposed thing--come about as a result of forgetting that what happens and how you feel about it, is not the primary thing in your life. It does happen. Things and events begin to pile up, occupying the mind, and soon you're forgetting to say your prayers. Something was going on that prevented the enactment of prayer that is to define your daily life.

Fr. Michael's words in his paper on formation take on a very real, and serious meaning. "When the spiritual journey gets rough, prayer is often the first thing to suffer; and yet isn't it at this moment that we are most in need of divine help and mercy? God asks us sooner or later just how serious we are about the journey."

At this point the wheels of steady conversion grind on toward my goal.

So, as a man of 49 years, I restate for my self that
I believe in the saving power of Christ Jesus, Son of God.
I believe that the Trinity is greater than all creation.
I believe that God vivifies all things.
I believe that in the Eucharist Jesus Christ is fully present, body and blood, soul and divinity.
I believe that God will see me, and all of us together, into his kingdom.
I believe that the Blessed Virgin Mary intercedes for us.